Students learn a lesson on married life

Jinzhong University senior student Bai Xin sings at her wedding on the campus of Shanxi Communication College in Taiyuan, Shanxi province, in May last year. [DA MAO/CHINA DAILY]

A few tips

For a stable and happy marriage, Jiayuan.com's Shen suggested that undergraduates discuss every aspect with their partners before marrying.

"There are so many decisions to make together, like choosing a city to settle down in, figuring out the financial resources and way of spending money," she said. "Don't underestimate these things. They are ... really crucial in married life." She also suggested that undergraduates try to get to know their partners as much as possible, and to make sure that they marry for love.

"You will then find that love helps you to overcome difficulties and solve problems in married life," Shen said.

Zhou said there are generally three steps for a romantic relationship to evolve into marriage－getting to know each other, trusting each other and making a promise to each other.

"It takes some time to complete the three steps, so I suggest that people, especially undergraduates, take at least one or two years for the steps before getting married," she said.

'Sometimes my husband doesn't wash the dishes or walk the dog'

Fan Jingyu, a 24-year-old who married in 2013 when she was a junior student at university, talks about her married life:

I was lucky, because although I married on a sudden impulse, marriage has been quite good for me so far.

My husband, a Brazilian, is three years older than me. We met and fell in love when I was studying at a university in Brazil as an exchange student in 2012. His positive, independent and organized personality attracted me to him.

But like many married women, I have found that my husband has changed and is now different from when we got married.

For example, I have found that he can sometimes be lazy.

At such times, I complain to him for not washing the dishes, not tidying a room or not walking the dog, but he never quarrels with me. Instead, he negotiates with me peacefully and tries to make me happy again by finishing the housework as soon as possible.

We have been married for almost two years, and my husband is a night person, while I sleep and get up early.

He will leave a note for me before he goes to bed, telling me not to forget to take my vitamins, for example.

I reply to him on the same note after I get up the next morning. From time to time, we communicate in this way, which I think is interesting and romantic.

The biggest challenge we have encountered in our married life came three or four months ago when my husband was diagnosed with slight depression, resulting from his heavy workload as a masters engineering student.

During this period, it seemed as if he had become another person who was unhappy and pessimistic all day. I was worried about him. As his wife, all I could do was to be by his side, encourage him and make him happy.

I accompanied him to see a psychologist and took him out for walks to make him relaxed. I also took him to see traditional Chinese medicine doctors, who used methods including acupuncture to help him. Now he is better than before.

Although we married when we were undergraduates, we are progressing and becoming more mature as time goes by. Life is the best teacher that helps you to understand the meaning of marriage.

Contact the writers through zhaoxinying@chinadaily.com.cn

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