Editor's note: November 11 is Singles' Day in China, but what was originally a celebration of unmarried life has become a time of despair for people who are desperate to find love.
Until this time last year, Su Yunmin met twice a month with three friends she's known since kindergarten, just like the four characters in the popular US television series Mistresses.
Now, though, the frequency of their gatherings has fallen to once every other month because Su, an assistant manager at a real estate company in Changchun, Jilin province, has told her friends that she's extremely busy at work.
However, that was just an excuse. The real reason she has cut back on meeting her married friends is that as a single 30-something woman, Su was bored with their habitual topics of conversation: their children and their mothers-in-law.
"Every time they were in high spirits－for example, discussing which of them has the worst mother-in-law－and I interjected a few words, they would suddenly remember my single existence and make statements designed to scare me, including telling me that I will have to marry an old, divorced guy with children if I don't find a boyfriend soon," she said.
"Every time I came back from those gatherings, I would see my illusions like a withered rose in the mirror. I'm not bad looking, I have a stable job and a comparatively good income, so why am I still alone? I often ask myself that question.
"I usually volunteer to work during holidays because it's really embarrassing for this 'old single woman' to have to face so many relatives, especially during the Lunar New Year."
Su may be single, but she certainly isn't alone. She's just one of the tens of thousands of single people in China who are having difficulty finding a spouse.
Not only is Nov 11 China's biggest day for online shopping－"Double 11" for large-margin discounts－but it's also Singles' Day, when countless singles pledge to find the love of their life.
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A woman crosses her hands behind her back during a mass blind date in Rizhao, Shandong province, Nov 11, 2014. [Photo/CFP] |
The theme for Singles' Day this year is finding a partner, because in Chinese the numbers2014, or er, ling, yi, si, can be pronounced to mean, "Love you my whole life".
A number of private and public activities to help singles find spouses and partners have been organized by relatives, friends, companies, communities, schools, and even government departments.
On Saturday, 10 universities in Hefei, the capital of Anhui province, held their annual mass blind date for unmarried students, especially postgraduates and people with doctorates. This is the 11th year the event has been held.
Online forums have been buzzing with posts inviting singles to spend the day together, and Baidu Tieba, a popular online forum, has been inundated with ads from people looking for, or even selling, their company on the big day.
One poster, who advertised his services for the entire day, posted a price list that included 15 yuan ($2.45) per hour for walking together in public, and 12 yuan an hour to accompany his "date" on a shopping trip.
Fang Haotao, who works for a business magazine in Beijing, hasn't had a girlfriend for four years and is desperate to lose his single status.
"I felt a strong antipathy to blind dates, so I stopped going on them. Now I think they may help me. Maybe my parents are right when they say that I idealize love too much. Sometimes I regret not following up with several girls I met on blind dates. They were pretty good," the 32-year-old said.
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