Marrying in China

China Daily website is inviting foreigner readers to share your China Story! and here are some points that we hope will help contributors:

In the end it was simple and almost too easy; a bureaucratic anti-climax.

Monday 8th February 2010 or should I say to use Chinese date format, 2010 February 8th had been preceded by much bureaucratic to-ing and fro-ing. Back in Australia, there were 3 trips into the Brisbane Registry of Births, Deaths & Marriages to get a certificate saying there was no record of a marriage since my divorce. You have to love the bureaucratic doublespeak. There is "no record" but the marriage might have happened off the record? Then there was the Australia consulate in Shanghai who were helpful but couldn't give direct advice about what Jiangsu province really wanted. So I opted for a few extra documents just in case. Oh yes you get there early and then a man who doesn't speak English (go figure – it's the Australian consulate!) says come back at 3pm when they do work.

The author and his wife at the Marriage Registry of Jiangsu province. [Photo provided to chinadaily.com.cn]

By the time Queenie and I set sail for Nanjing I was getting rather gun-shy but still ready to dodge the bullets.

Now in each province there is only one place to get married if you are a foreigner. In Jiangsu the one place is in Nanjing. No bookings are required or are possible so we stay Sunday night in Nanjing and are ready to be there on Monday at 9am at the latest. In fact we spend a couple of hours finding the place on Sunday (it's obscure) and then turn up at 8.45am to be first in the queue but we are in fact second.

In the first room a late twenty-ish female checks our documents and seems happy enough. There are a few questions to Queen in Chinese that seem matter-of-fact and a very few in English to me that are really straightforward. It looks good. Hey the documents are OK; in fact the main requirement is to sign an oath that you are not married. We are told to take a seat over there and the next bureaucrat will talk to you soon. My gun shyness is mellowing but the shields are still ready for reengagement. I won't be fooled by half smiles and head nods. This is the land of surprises and somersaults.

We advance to the next woman, older, small-faced and with constant slight smile. You've got to love the Chinese they have worked out to sell marriage keepsakes and souvenirs at government level such as medal sets and commemorative plaques. This is to supplement the routine administrative charges with emotional impulsive point-of-sale goods. So we order a modest plaque and advance to the next room.

This room seems to be a photographic room for identity card photos and it's very perfunctory. This woman has done it 10,000 times before and needs a New Year holiday. However in the other side of the room there is a small platform and rostrum that actually seems to be the marriage service point (you can take service point two ways and please do). So we wait a little and woman number one enters and beckons us to the marriage stage. She’s got what looks like a folder containing the marriage service in it? Or ...?

What have we made it? There's no problems? They are going to let us get married? Hallelujah!!

So woman number one conducts a standard service reading from a script, alternating questions in Chinese to Queen and English to me.

"Do you come here to marry this woman?"

"Do you enter into this marriage with your free will?"

"In China man and woman are equal. Can you make it?"

"Marriage means sharing all means in good times and hard times. Can you make it?"

"Yes, yes. I can make it. I can make it."

Somehow the Chinglesh seems just perfect. It's a fresh way to say the time-worn vows.

"Yes I can make it. I won't fake it."

So a photographer takes the money shots of us signing, holding our red Chinese marriage certificate books and Queen holding a bunch of flowers.

So just like that, we are Chinese husband and wife in a simple elegant ceremony. No custom vows, easy black coffee no sugar no milk and total ergonomic functionality in four rooms. Kind of like registering to vote but with flowers and photos.

What no music? They could charge for the song you choose and have more supplementary income. Hmmmm what song would I have chosen? Wo bu zhi dao (I don't know why) but I love you? It works for me.

We exit to the photographer to choose the best photos. Can I have them digitally? I forgot my memory stick but they could offer an email service. It is not possible says Queen. Now there is one last room, back to woman number two to receive our final paperwork. I know I've crossed the finish line and there are no more rooms to go to.

And just like that we are married in China on 2010 February 8th.

The author is an Australian Business & English teacher who has been in China for two and a half years. He has worked at Nantong Vocational College, Web private school in Yangzhou and now Nantong Middle School No 3.

The opinions expressed do not represent the views of the China Daily website.

[Please click here to read more My China stories. You are welcome to share your China stories with China Daily website readers. The authors will be paid 200 yuan ($30). Please send your story to mychinastory@chinadaily.com.cn.]