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When one seems much better than two

By Liu Zhihua ( China Daily ) Updated: 2016-06-25 07:39:26

When one seems much better than two

The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are was published in Chinese in 2014. [Photo provided to China Daily]

A place in the pecking order

Since the 1990s the best-selling writer and psychologist Kevin Leman has written more than 30 books on parenting, self-help psychology and marriage, among which one of the most popular is The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are.

The book looks at the potential influence of the order of one's birth on personality and development. It was first published in 1982, and a revised version was published in 1998.

In late 2014 the book was translated and published in Chinese, after the adoption of a Chinese government policy in 2013 allowing couples to have a second child if either parent was an only child.

In the book, Leman offers readers a fascinating look at how birth order affects a person's personality, career, relationships, and marriage and other things. He categorizes birth orders into firstborn, middle child, lastborn and those with no siblings.

Firstborn children are said to be natural leaders who believe in order and discipline, and are often perfectionists. Sometimes they try too hard to be perfect or to please others and thus suffer.

Middle children come in many different assortments and are guaranteed to be the opposite of their older sibling, and often feel ignored in the family, Leman says. They also tend to be flexible, secretive, pious and independent.

Children born last, as was the case with Leman, are said to be social and outgoing. They want attention and have the potential to manipulate people with their charm.

Children with no siblings are said to be sophisticated, discreet and self-motivated. They like to befriend older people, have high expectations of themselves and are intolerant to failure.

Due to such personality traits associated with birth orders, a person's life, such as career, marriage and parenting, are also associated with where they were born in a family, and thus become predictable to some extent, the books say.

For instance, firstborns seem more likely to have high social status and make great achievements, while many people succeeding in showbiz are lastborn in the family, Leman says.

The book is highly readable, with the author's wit and humor shining through, but as charming as is, some will dismiss it all as nonsense.

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