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Reasons for not being friends with ex boyfriend or girlfriend

By ll利 ( Updated: 2014-06-18 17:28

Why you should not talk about your ex or be in touch with him/her?

Is your love for an ex-boyfriend affecting your present and future? Despite knowing that men dislike talk or comparisons to ex boyfriend, many women keep making the mistake. One of the major reasons for relationship failure is past emotional baggage. Let what happened in the past, be in the past. Acknowledge it and let it go. To fall in love again is very important. It is quite natural for a woman to make mental comparisons of an ex with her present boyfriend. But the problem arises when you keep bragging about how your ex is perfect or put down your current boyfriend with the comparisons.

Talking of an Ex can hurt the male ego. When a woman keeps talking about the other guy, men find it a sign that she is still not over him. It is a sign that you still have not moved on. Talking too much about an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is a sign of insecurity. It also means that you may be on the rebound. To heal from a break up, it is important to accept that that the relationship is over and let it go. If you don't do it, the only person who will be miserable will be you.

Personally, I have made this mistake. When I ended up blindsided after my love-at-first-sight romance, I was so affected that I jumped into a rebound relationship only to break up later. I kept comparing every man who came into my life with my perfect ex and none matched up. Either the men got annoyed with my bragging about him or I rejected them outright. Those who still tried to win me never got any closer to me than a friend. Then I accidentally met my Ex and found the real reason for his breaking up with me and why he cannot take me back. But I also realized that I do not love him anymore and even if he wants me back, I do not want him back. But I was missing the good friend in him and suggested that we be friends. He accepted and we started meeting again for coffees and movies. Nothing about him had changed. He still looked at me the same way and cared for me the same way. But I had changed. I did not see him as my romantic interest anymore. Being with me was making it difficult for my Ex for moving on. Even the guy I was seeing at that moment was uncomfortable with the idea of me seeing my Ex though we never had any physical relationship. Finally, we decided that being friends was not practical anymore and parted ways.

Why being friends with an Ex is a bad idea?

There may be many problems if you decide to remain friends with your Ex. For instance, there is a chance that you may be tempted to go back to the relationship despite having unresolved issues. As long as you are in touch with him/her, it is difficult to move on from the past relationship. Secondly, your current love interest may not be comfortable with the idea of you seeing your Ex, especially if you have been intimate. He or she could feel jealous and it could affect your relationship. Being close to the Ex can make your partner insecure about the relationship and worried that you may end up being intimate with that person again.

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