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Dilemma in single life

By Cai Shen ( Updated: 2014-11-17 16:59

”Aren’t you married yet?’’ or Are you married?

May I help you to find a girl?

Am I suitable to you?’’ 

Friends, relatives, colleagues and nearly anybody I know often asks me such a question.

The idea of getting married was one of my dreams and it usually fascinated me since I first understood the concept of it. I fled to the city for study when I was about 10 years old and until now have encountered so many beautiful ladies. I had imagined that I would have many opportunities to choose one of them.

As a teenager I also wrote love story and poems. Also enjoyed dating so many ladies. But now I’ve turned 30 and am still unmarried. And that is because now I am going deep ponder over marital life.

In my society in your 20s is the preferable time to get married. I’ve got a got quality education, fame in the media and am praised for my submissive behavior and generous attitude and personality. Now I am financially independent and have built a house, fulfilling most of my desires. All my friends are getting married and enjoying their offspring and dealing with various relations. With a magnificent life style, why I am late welcoming a life partner?

Sometimes I used to calculate the advantages and disadvantages of married life.

Some people do debate that marriage, making babies and serving a household and family are the nature of a complete male. If this logic is true, then why is the complete task of making a marriage left to the male?

There are so many old people who are thrown into a geriatric home. Nobody can guarantee that your offspring will take care of you. Moreover it is better to make a frame work or save for old age so you can survive without difficulties.  

People used to have a philosophy about marriage, to keep the partnership until the end of life. With some exceptional cases, birth and death are decided by God or it can be said, not by a human hand. The time of death of a spouse cannot be the fixed naturally. One will die earlier.

Some of my seniors tried to be a single in their life but society did not allow them to be left unmarried and in old age it would be harder. They alerted me that if I remain bachelor I will have great regret in my old age. One day you will feel the loneliness.

Any accrued wealth should be handed over to a successor. But I think it can be donated to the poor or to a welfare trust too.

Some people surprisingly describe the single life. What do you do if you get horny? Who will fulfill your sexual desires? I think what matters is what you think of in your mind will lead to such feelings. Without a conjugal life one can fall into depression, mental problems, etc.

The world population is rising and some countries are bound to force the child policy to curb the congestion. If I didn’t get married there will be at least one less human in this overpopulated world. It will be my small contribution. And I can support various aspects throughout my single life - if I do not get married.

Somehow conjugal life might offer nice company to celebrate the moments and share the bitter and the sweet of life’s journey. Honestly, though life is not guaranteed, if the situation goes from bad to worse then may need someone’s company. I wonder what questions productive youth have about this. If you do not get married, will life be a pile of problems or a vortex of bad situations? When will it be too late to get married? To marry or not to marry, is that a contradiction? So let me see, how will this Chinese single’s day favor me? 

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