I'm a netizen addict as my pigeons come home to roost

China has an estimated 1.3 billion cellphone subscribers, let alone laptop owners. This is the largest number of netizens in a single country by a long shot. And I'm one of these netizens, aka: a huge tennis fan.

Speaking of long shots, how many of you were fortunate enough to be awaked by the amorous aural assault known as "pigeon pickup talk" early Sunday morning? Yes, the lovey-dovey doves were strutting on my balcony at around 4 am, with the male cooing in pigeon-English:"Come here often? What's your sign? What's a nice honey-bunny hen like you doing in a place like this?"

At this point I had enough. I opened my patio window and, looking the male pigeon directly down the beak, I asked: "Whattaya mean, a place like this?" I like things "just so" you see, and take pride in the pristine porcelain of my patio.