Sports bar, tick. Big screen, tick. Singer? Oh no, I need to go

This is a transcript of a WeChat exchange with a Chinese friend in Beijing one night when I was trapped in a Kunshan sports bar in Jiangsu province by what I can only describe as a crippling bout of British politeness. To protect the innocent (hardly), I'll refer to my friend as Grotbags. Her comments are in bold. Also, "football" here refers to soccer.

Help! I came to a bar to have a beer and watch the football on a giant screen, then suddenly the staff turned off the sound and a woman got up and started singing - badly. There were a few people when I got here, now I'm all alone. I really want to leave but I'm afraid the woman will see me and think I'm rude. What do I do?

Hahahahahahahahaha.