Beloved Boris, the vacuum cleaner that has stolen my heart

So the United Nations has finally decreed - after holdout rogue states grudgingly accepted the proposal - that April 1 should be the International Day of Robotic Vacuum Cleaners.

My wife and I recently adopted one of these things - a vacuum cleaner, that is, not a rogue state - from one war-torn country or the other, and he (we decided to call it Boris) really is now part of the family.

As he nibbled at my feet under the kitchen table on Saturday morning I'd swear the little guy purred, "I love you, Dad," although I couldn't quite hear because at the time our trusty AIceAge SmartFridge (patent pending) was grumbling about being given the cold shoulder ever since Boris has been around.