Bolt Bows Out With Definitive 'never Again'

LONDON - Usain Bolt took an emotional final bow on the track at the end of the World Athletics Championships on Sunday before declaring that, definitely and definitively, there is no way he will ever return to sprinting.

After embarking on a special lap of honor so slow that you could not believe that we were saying farewell to the world's fastest man, Bolt was asked by reporters already missing him whether he might ever change his mind.

"No, I've seen too many people come back and make things worse and shame themselves. I won't be one of those people who come back," he said firmly.