Victorious Monkeys skip the Brits

For the second year running they failed to show. But that did not stop taciturn trailblazers Arctic Monkeys, credited with kick-starting a boom in young British guitar talent, picking up the two main gongs at Wednesday night's Brits music awards.

But their non-appearance they dressed up first as characters from the Wizard of Oz and then the Village People to say their brief recorded thank-yous left the stage clear for ageing boy band Take That to steal the show.

Host Russell Brand called it "Shakespearean". And for a stark illustration of the slings and arrows of modern celebrity you couldn't do much better than the reformed band winning the best single award for Patience, the day after its more successful former member Robbie Williams checked himself into rehab.