As students in Grades 9 and 10 navigate the transition into high school, the partnership between school and home becomes vital.
As a child, I had very strong and fond memories of an education that was not conceived at school, but experienced at the dinner table. It wasn't a conversation about school or what was learned. It was about life. This experience reveals a profound truth: the engagement, love, and interest of my parents created a safe environment where we could begin to flourish.
As parents of students in Grades 9 and 10, you know this feeling intimately. You have seen your child's face light up at a moment of understanding. You have witnessed their confidence soar when they are nurtured and acknowledged.
However, as the academic stakes rise, it is easy to lose sight of this. The pressure of examinations and the sheer volume of content can make us feel that our primary role as adults is to monitor grades. As educators, we believe a young person's success is built on the foundation of well-being. We practice "positive education".
To be clear, this is not about making children happy all of the time or lowering expectations. It is about helping students develop resilience and the capacity to face challenges with courage.
For parents navigating these high school years, there are practical strategies we can explore together. In our recent "WUIS parent academy", we discussed academic strength-based parenting — the practice of deliberately identifying our children's strengths while supporting them to navigate challenges.
Consider the gentle art of reframing. One parent in our community recently shared how frustrated they were with their son's "stubbornness". After we discussed reframing, they began to see it as perseverance — a willingness to defend his beliefs. When they started saying, "you really stand your ground", the dynamic at home shifted. The child began to see himself as capable and resilient, rather than simply "difficult".
Another family shared how they implemented a "gratitude exchange" at the dinner table. Instead of the traditional, often stressful question of "How was your test today?", they took turns sharing one thing they were genuinely grateful for that week. This simple practice became a powerful counterbalance to academic stress, reminding the family of their connection to one another.
We also hear from parents who are intentionally creating "unplugged" moments. By establishing a no-phones rule at the dinner table, they are creating a safe space where their teenager can simply decompress and feel heard without the pressure of being evaluated.
Ultimately, our goal is to cultivate what we call the "grounded cosmopolitan". We want students deeply rooted in their Chinese cultural heritage, yet globally agile — able to move between worlds without losing their identities. This requires emotional security, relational support, and character strengths, all nurtured through a strong school-home partnership.
The journey through Grades 9 and 10 is demanding, but it is also a remarkable period of growth. By embracing a positive educational mindset, we can transcend the limited view of academics as merely a score. We can cultivate character alongside content, ensuring that our children achieve true success — not just in their examinations, but in their lives.
We are walking this journey together. By supporting one another and focusing on the whole child, we can help raise a generation who are not only academically successful, but fulfilled, compassionate, and wise.
The author is the co-principal of Wuxi United International School in Wuxi, East China's Jiangsu province. He is also a fellow of the Institute of Leadership, United Kingdom.
The views don't necessarily represent those of China Daily.
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