At that moment, Xu began to understand that what he was shaping was not just stone, but a form of continuity — something that allowed the living to remain connected to those they had lost. A tombstone could hold the presence of a parent for a child, or offer quiet companionship to someone left behind.
"That was when I realized this job could truly matter," he says. "It allows me to help people, and earn their trust."
From then on, he chose to take the work seriously.
He stopped chasing abstract notions of "art" and began by listening. Before starting any design, he sits with families and asks simple questions: What colors did they like? What music or opera did they enjoy? What kind of life did they live?
A typical design takes around 10 days. Xu begins with hand-drawn sketches, refining them through conversations with the family. Once a direction is agreed upon, he develops digital renderings to finalize materials, colors and layout.
His work often extends beyond the tombstone itself. He treats each site as a small, contained environment — a place designed not only for remembrance, but for return.
