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Matches made in heaven are first discussed in the park

By Wang Tingting | China Daily | Updated: 2012-05-15 14:20
Matches made in heaven are first discussed in the park

While dating TV shows and matchmaking websites proliferate, parents - often more worried about their children's marriages than their kids are - still prefer parks as hunting grounds for finding spouses.

Many parks are packed with parents holding up signs advertising their children's basic information for other parents to see.

It's like a marriage market. Parents elbow their way through crowds of "shoppers", scanning the signs and selecting some to ask about, as if they were picking vegetables at a store.

Sometimes, they leave with up to five phone numbers. Other times, they go home empty-handed.

Different parks attract different demographics. Zhongshan Park in Beijing is a congregation spot for parents of well-educated, white-collar workers and elites who work overseas. Blue-collar types often gather in Tiantan Park.

Zhu Lijuan has visited Zhongshan Park every Sunday for six years to find a wife for her 45-year-old son, who works in the United States. The 76-year-old's son, who only returns to China a few times a year, doesn't know his mother shops around for him.

"He wouldn't agree with it," Zhu says.

"He doesn't worry about getting married and doesn't know how worried I am."

While she hasn't found a wife for her son, she has made many friends. Some even hold her sign for her when she can't go to the park.

"More parents are showing up, but fewer matches are being made," she says.

Qu Nan is perhaps an exception in this "market", in that he has cut out the "middle man". The 35-year-old personally visits Zhongshan every Sunday to find a girlfriend. He has met several women in the past two years, but their relationships never lasted longer than a month.

"Women are too practical," he says.

"And the parents only judge men's success - not their personalities."

Retired reporter Li Zhang has visited Zhongshan's "marriage market" for about three months to find a husband for his daughter, who's 41.

The 77-year-old explains most parents are searching for grooms for daughters who are older than 35.

Zhu Lijuan believes employers are responsible for their children's situations. "In my day, a textile factory where most workers were women would host social activities with another factory that had more men to enable employees to meet potential partners," Zhu recalls.

"Now, employers only care about how much money their employees can make for them."

Shanghai has the oldest average ages for marriage - 31 for men and 29 for women. Next are Beijing and Guangdong's provincial capital Guangzhou.

The average marriage age for women has increased by four years over the past decade.

Many young people, especially women, who are planning to marry within five years, are worried about their futures.

Li Yatong is among them. "Many of my friends don't have boyfriends, like me. But I don't want my parents to become regular park visitors," the 22-year-old says.

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