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When a surprise sickness spoils retirement bliss
(Agencies)
Updated: 2009-02-18 14:46 "At the beginning of an illness, the healthy partner doesn't recognize the multitude of problems it raises in one's living situation," according to authors Susanne Krejsa und Jan-Hinnerk Jacke. In their strong belief and desire for everything to be normal again, the healthy partner becomes very proactive after learning the diagnosis. "And they bend over backwards for their partner," says Tim Grosch, a psychologist in Berlin. But always being strong, giving your all while projecting calmness and confidence - "nobody can achieve that," says Grosch. Things can get really difficult when the sick partner recognizes that despite his efforts, there's no improvement in sight. "What follows is great frustration, and it's not uncommon for this to end in burnout," says Grosch. Nuessel warns that the partner who becomes the caregiver should not give up on themselves and should think of their own needs. Mood swings, frustration and anger over the burdensome situation are part of a common scenario, also for the person who is ill. "It's important to let these feeling out and not to let them become bottled up inside," says Nuessel. It helps to create a list of bright spots to avoid the entire relationship revolving around the illness. "Think about some wonderful things you can do together," says Nuessel. "Even if everything is no longer possible, there's always something good." |
