When a surprise sickness spoils retirement bliss

(Agencies)
Updated: 2009-02-18 14:46

Many couples plan to grow old together and enjoy their retirement by doing things they couldn't do when they were younger such as traveling the world.

Illness is never part of the plan, however, and when it strikes, dreams of a fulfilling retirement can change 180 degrees from one minute to the next. Illnesses like influenza and more serious chronic diseases and cancer can cause hardship over a long period of time or perhaps for the rest of one's life.

"Such illnesses can throw a relationship off track," says Michaela Nuessel, a psychologist and relationship therapist in Nuremberg. Even when couples believe they know each other down to the smallest detail, "when one of the partners becomes ill, established patterns within the relationship often don't work any more."

Suddenly, worries dominate life, as routine habits and comforting rituals are no longer workable.

"It's very important that couples talk about their expectations," says Nuessel. Knowledge of their partner's thoughts and feelings helps guard against a negative spiral into which many couples slip after a serious illness is diagnosed. Each will have to cope with the affected partner's mood swings, restlessness and weakness.

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