'Beijing bikini' is not a cool look, guys

Disclaimer: The writer is a socially awkward and emotionally stunted Canadian whose high school graduation class voted him "most likely to be found dead in a cheap hotel room." Since he is barely capable of dressing himself, any inference of sartorial acumen in the following commentary should be taken under advisement.

As summer's swelter envelops Beijing like an endless strip of sweat-soaked gauze, it's painfully apparent that this great city, blessed with some of the most beautiful and stylish women on the planet, is also home to an expanding legion of dorky men who believe the ideal way to beat the heat is to roll up their pants to knee level and hike their shirts above their beer bellies.

Sad, but true.