Here are the gadgets Beijingers really need

The recent Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas brought the usual buffet of brilliance. Phones so smart they would make an astrophysicist feel a bit silly. Clever cars and supermodel-thin TVs the size of football pitches. All very impressive, no doubt. But will all this wizardry really improve our lives? I'm not so sure. Here's a selection of gadgets someone needs to invent. And quickly.

Sanlitun Taxi Attraction Minion

Now you can enjoy that last 2 am beer while the STAM is deployed on the sidewalks of Beijing's Sanlitun nightlife area, searching for the only empty cab in the known universe. After sensing the approach of headlights, the STAM raises one arm halfway and scans the vehicles. On acquisition of a passenger-free target, the STAM perfectly replicates taxi-seeking human behavior by waving both arms in the air in an increasingly frantic manner. If the vehicle stops, you are alerted to get your butt outside before the guy drives off. If a meter is not detected and a price negotiation is required, the STAM engages "you're having a laugh" mode, where any attempt to charge 100 yuan ($15) for a 15-minute journey is met with serious consequences. Involving a cattle prod.