More Iranians celebrating divorce

Weddings in Iran have long been an over-the-top affair, with families spending the equivalent of thousands of dollars to celebrate a union. But now some couples are splurging on an entirely different sort of nuptial celebration: a divorce party.

Local media outlets and blogs have been abuzz for months about lavish parties, complete with sarcastic invitations and humorous cakes, for couples splitting up.

The divorce parties are a sign of an undeniable trend: divorce in Iran is soaring. Since 2006, the rate of divorce has increased. Now, 20 percent of marriages end in divorce.

In the first two months of the Iranian calendar year alone (late March to late May), more than 21,000 divorce cases were logged, according to official statistics.

Some of the causes for divorce in Iran, like many other countries, include economic problems, adultery, drug addiction or physical abuse. But the increase points to a more fundamental shift in Iranian society, experts say.

"There has been a big growth in individualism in Iran, especially among women. Women are more educated and have increased financial empowerment," said Hamid Reza Jalaipour, a sociologist at Teheran University.

"It used to be that a woman would marry and she would just have to get along. Now if she's not happy,

she'll separate. It's not taboo," he said.

One 41-year-old woman, a chemistry graduate who is now head of public relations at a Teheran factory and who has a teenage daughter, said she divorced her husband because he was an abusive drug addict.

It took four years to deal with the government bureaucracy.

"They don't like divorce to come from the side of women," she told Reuters, asking that her name not be used. But in the year since the divorce, "I've been in heaven."

While she was married, an aunt told her not to wash the dishes at a certain time in case it might give her husband a headache.

"I said to hell with the headache, why doesn't he get up and do the dishes himself?" she said.

She had never been to one of Teheran's notorious divorce parties but added: "The day that I got my divorce finalized I invited some friends over to celebrate too."

Marriage laws in Iran traditionally favor the husband, who has a right to divorce. But in most cases being brought to court now, the husband and wife have generally come to a mutual agreement to separate, Iranian lawyers say.

In those cases where the husband is unwilling to divorce, the wife must legally prove that the husband is abusive, has psychological problems or is somehow unable to uphold his marriage responsibilities.

Alternately, the wife could push for the payment of her mehrieh, or dowry, if it was not paid when the couple married. Dowries in Iran, usually in the form of gold coins, have skyrocketed in recent years with families sometimes paying the equivalent of tens of thousands of dollars.

If the husband is not able to pay the dowry, the wife can waive some or all of it as part of a separation settlement. In some cases, the husband can go to jail if he cannot pay the dowry.

"In the past two years divorce in Iran has reached unprecedented levels," said Mohsen Mohammadi, the head of the Yasa law group in Teheran. "We didn't even have an interest in family and divorce law. But because of the large number of requests, it made sense for us to get into this. The legal side of family and divorce has become a big business in Iran."

(China Daily 10/23/2014 page11)