Pirates have letterhead to go with sizable demands

Welcome to the Pirate Action Group. Pirate commander Jamal wishes to congratulate you on being hijacked. Kindly speak to his negotiator about your ransom, bearing in mind that his demands are similar for every vessel he seizes.

This is not an absurd joke - this is how the pirates of the African coast do business, and it's a serious matter for the companies that have to pay out.

In 2011 Somali piracy cost the world economy $7 billion and earned the pirates some $160 million in ransoms, according to a recent report by the International Maritime Bureau.