Cleaning up at home and staying canny with my savings

I was washing the kitchen wall tiles with vinegar (I should explain that I'm a canny Scot who rarely buys expensive domestic cleaning products). There were tiles near the ceiling that I couldn't reach. So I stepped from the chair onto the kitchen sink unit, the front legs collapsed under my weight and I fell backwards.

Fortunately, my wife was standing behind me and I had a soft landing.

However, the draining board was full of glasses and crockery that now lay shattered on the floor. I was concerned that a shard might have entered my open-toed sandals.