Sparing the rod won't spoil the child

The first time I came across the Chinese expression koushui zhan, I interpreted it as a fight, in the form of spitting at each other, as koushui means saliva and zhan fight. Yet, as I probed further into its cultural connotations, I found that this expression is often used to describe a situation when a heated argument completely deviates from what was originally meant.

In such circumstances, both parties involved in the dispute often misinterpret a statement and grab a single point out of context to criticize, and then they spit it back at the person who opposes their view.

Of the many examples, the debate over Amy Chua's book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a case in point. The discussion surrounding the book has gradually turned into a koushui zhan about the Chinese parenting style and its US counterpart. It seems there is a clear-cut demarcation between the way Chinese parents raise their children and the way American parents do. And it also seems that there is the most proper way of parenting.