Getting married for the mob

They took off my glasses and gave me a gun.

Then, they handed me a wife - my fifth since coming to China and I've never been divorced.

The ceremony in which I was provided a firearm and a new bride wasn't a serious shotgun wedding - the weapon was actually a musket - but rather, a performance for tourists showcasing the marital customs of the Miao people in Guizhou province's Basha village.