One man's sacrifice for sick parents a lesson to us all

Zhou Dagong's life is a story of love and dedication few of us can even imagine. If you think your life is tough, read on.

Zhou graduated from a vocational school and found a job in a factory where he was making only 300 yuan ($43) a month. He eagerly sought more chances of studying and eventually joined a company. Thanks to his excellent performance, the company planned to transfer him to a better job in Beijing.

However, tragedies struck the family. His brother died of illness and their father was so grief-stricken he became seriously ill and went blind. Then his mother was struck down with cerebral thrombosis and severe diabetes.

Without hesitation, Zhou sacrificed his own bright future and returned to the family home in Liaoning province, a shabby apartment with broken windows in an old building in Fushun city.

Zhou's tears would flow every time he saw photos his parents took of him when he was young. "They brought me up, so I must stay with them," he says.

In the eight years since his fateful decision, the dutiful son has never left his paralyzed parents for a moment.

His unenviable day starts before 7 am. He has so much to do for his bed-ridden parents he doesn't even get to eat "breakfast" until 2 pm.

In the mornings, Zhou cooks for them, takes them to the toilet, cleans them up afterwards, then changes their urine bags and their clothes. After washing them with a wet towel, he makes sure to dry their bodies with a hair drier to prevent them getting bedsores.

His father can't even open his stiff palms, so Zhou uses a cotton swab to clean them.

Now his parents can't even swallow properly, Zhou feeds them food powder through a nose tube, a difficult job only an experienced nurse can do. Moreover, he uses a variety of powder to make sure they get a balance of nutrients.

Zhou is often so busy, he doesn't even have time to cook for himself and settles for bowls of instant noodles.

Then he begins washing piles of dirty towels, bedspreads and cloths. Zhou often has to keep changing his parents' diapers and urine bags, even keeping a watch on them during the night.

During the eight years he has been nursing them, Zhou has become half nutritionist, half doctor. Under his meticulous and loving care, Zhou's father has made a miracle recovery from prostatitis, though the hopes of full recovery for both his parents seem dim.

"Sometimes, I've been so distressed I've cried alone," he admits. "But I know I must move on for my parents."

Some friends used to suggest Zhou send his parents to a rest home, but he refused. "I worry they wouldn't be properly cared for. I don't think my parents could live without me," he says.

Back in 1999, the handsome young man had a girlfriend but gave up their blossoming relationship for his parents.

The family's only income is his parents' 2,900 yuan ($415) pension. A relative down south sometimes sends them money.

"Zhou never shows his distress - he keeps a smile for everyone," says one of his neighbors.

Now 39, Zhou no longer has any expectations of romantic love. "I'll be happy as long as she understands me and would like to take care of my parents for the rest of their lives," he says.

(China Daily 12/22/2008 page8)