 Zen and the art of being an expat
By Patrick Whiteley (China Daily)
Updated: 2008-11-24 07:45
Patience and tolerance are not my best character strengths, so I have to thank my Chinese friends for helping me get a better handle on these very worthy virtues. On a recent bus ride, I was sitting next to a young fellow who felt the need to play his favorite mando pop tunes at full blast. It was only a one-hour bus journey to the Great Wall, but after he pumped up the volume of his mobile phone music player, this ride was going to last an eternity. People sitting around us didn't care about the tinny noise. In fact, one girl started to sing along. Others simply were oblivious to the racket, and were too busy focusing on their own affairs. After two songs, the young man, dressed in an immaculate white addidas tracksuit and matching white addidas runners, soon became bored and cut the music, looking for something else to distract him from his obvious boredom. I told my Chinese friends about this incident, thinking to myself: "Why are some people here so self-centered? Aren't they aware that their actions affect other people?" But the Chinese had another point of view. "Chinese are generally pretty tolerant people," they said laughing. They were looking at things from the group point of view rather than the outlook of the individual. "Sure the guy was making a noise, but this is China! Everybody is making a noise!" On some subways in the West, playing iPods are banned because of the noise and commuters are not allowed to eat food because of the odor. Imagine if the authorities tried banning food on a Chinese train. In the minds of the locals, it would be the dumbest possible idea conceived. Another area of Chinese life, in which I've learned patience and tolerance, is on the roads. Drivers create their own lane, between lanes, nobody uses indicators and beeping horns are constant. Without warning, another car cuts in front, and your heart plummets again. I have a Chinese driving license and was terrified on my first drive. But after a while, I started to relax and accepted the way things were. It was a state of mind. The most important driving attribute needed on Chinese roads, and an expat life, is the right attitude. Patience, and the ability to go with the flow, is vital. Drop-ins happen so often here, that easily frustrated types are better off sticking with taxis. What is surprising is the lack of anger among many local drivers. Despite some outrageous driving behavior (sudden turns in the middle of a busy highway), the majority of Chinese drivers have very short memories. What initially appears to be chaos becomes a system, which can be safely negotiated once it is understood. I still get rattled, expat life is always challenging. But after a few deep breaths, and a moment of silence, I tend to see the humor of it all, and let go. (China Daily 11/24/2008 page8) |
