Soccer match with elephants leaves me a bit unstrung

Five elephants were kicking basketballs at me, as they barreled in my direction at full speed. I leapt back and forth, attempting to block their shots from landing in the soccer net.

The crowd seated in the Guizhou Forest Wildlife Park Elephant Carnival's bleachers was cheering.

But I couldn't see them - or see much of anything, really - as the animal trainers had confiscated my eyeglasses before putting me in front of this firing squad of athletic pachyderms.