A brilliant casting idea: Yao Ming as Confucius

While the Olympic Games were on, entertainment stars played second fiddle, dutifully sitting in the backseat trying not to upstage the athletes. When harassed by reporters, some of them rattled off a list of medal winners as favorite potentials for dates.

Zhao Wei is said to have had a fling with table tennis star Wang Liqin, and entertainment reporters asked the usual philosophical questions: "Is your love providing him impetus?" or "He's not doing well at the Games. Is it because he's jilted in love?"

That, to me, is an epiphany: Give me 51 entertainment celebrities, and I'll give you 51 gold-medal Olympians. My secret is to have the stars date the athletes, and the latter will be so motivated they'll break world records in no time.