Germans fret no one likes them after Eurovision contest dud

Germans fretted about being unloved in Europe yesterday after their most popular band of the last decade got zero points from 40 of 42 countries in the Eurovision Song Contest and they ended up sharing last place.

"Why doesn't anyone like us?" asked Bild am Sonntag newspaper after Germany had yet another horrendous showing in the annual contest watched by more than 100 million viewers.

"Are we too stupid to win or is it simply we're not liked?" the Sunday newspaper said. "The fact is Germany's top recording artists have failed spectacularly in this contest. Do our singers simply have no chance abroad?"