Sleep is a luxury for us reporting on the torch relay through the Chinese mainland.

After 11 hours of night travel by train and bus from the city of Shantou, the last relay leg in Guangdong province, to Ruijin, the first leg in Jiangxi province, Monday was supposed to be a day of relaxation, but for most of us it was not.

The news of the earthquake in Sichuan reached us about 20 minutes after it struck. We were filled with shock and anxiety as we tried to call our friends and relatives in Sichuan. But failed as all mobile communication with Sichuan was down.

Two reporters were particularly concerned. The parents of one lived about 300 km away from where the epicenter of the quake occurred. The mother managed to contact her son to tell him they were safe but the house had collapsed, before she was cut off.

The other was trying to locate a close friend who was visiting Mianyang, a city even closer to the epicenter. "His wife and 7-year-old son are desperately worried," he said.

My friend in Chengdu could not be reached until early yesterday. While it was a relief to know she and her family were safe, it was sad they and thousands of others had spent the night on the streets.

When I shared this information with my roommate, a reporter with Beijing Daily, she burst into tears.

My spirits remained low as we met with some of the torchbearers for today's relay.

For a while, I was in two minds: should I stay with the media team or go and help in the disaster-hit areas.

But the words of torchbearer Qiu Lixing cheered me up and made me realize I must recover from the shock and help in a more constructive way.

"Be strong and hopeful. If we all work together, help each other, we can create miracles," the 15-year-old Qiu said. He has survived a serious heart condition.

He was cured after two major operations last year. The shy boy claims to have grown by 10 cm and put on 5 kg in weight since the second surgery lasy July. He is confident of completing his 200-meter run today.

Qiu said he believes that the chance to be a torchbearer is more of a responsibility than an honor especially after he heard of the earthquake in Sichuan. "A responsibility to carry on the spirit of charity," he said.

Qiu describes his full recovery as a miracle which could not have been achieved without social help and care.

I doubt if I could be helpful if I was in Sichuan at this very moment. But I know one thing for sure: Qiu's story fills me with determination and courage, and I must carry on my duties as a journalist.

(China Daily 05/14/2008 page7)