Omer finds his groove with culture club

Dealing with rules and regulations, Chinese style, required a change in attitude for Omer Icge, a Turkish national who has lived in Guangzhou for over two years.

When the 26-year old language graduate, founder of the International Culture and Dialogue Club in Jinan University, was organizing its first ever event, the lengthy procedures, waiting time and large number of teacher and student union approvals he required left him angry and frustrated.

"In Turkey, a student who wants to do an event will just do it and the teachers accept it. Here, we have to apply to register the club and get permission for the event. Registering can take one year. Approval for the event can (then) take three months," Icge says.

"And in Turkey, students and teachers are more even. If we don't like a decision, we can argue. Here, students are used to following many rules and they do not challenge their teachers."

But instead of fighting, Icge changed his outlook. When he wrote a letter to the dean of student affairs regarding setting up the club, he was very humble and patient, he recalls.

"I received registration within three months," he says.

And when teachers and the student union initially did not approve the event, Icge went to their office to talk to them and gathered support among other union members for the event. The approach worked and he received approval and then overwhelming support from students themselves.

Icge's frustrations, he believes, are due to the strict rules governing student behavior that exists and student obedience to people in authority. Also, after so many years closed to outside influences, local institutions are still not used to the open and confrontational ways that exist in foreign countries.

The challenge Icge faced has to do with the Chinese mentality, says Boris Yu, of Quintessentially, the exclusive concierge and lifestyle services club, that provides entree to the most exclusive social events and activities in any given city, for its elite members.

When dealing with Chinese, "you cannot be too upfront. You cannot just come in and state your demands so openly. This is not acceptable," Yu says.

Yu, head of Quintessentially's Shanghai operation, says this same attitude exists in the business world, where foreigners must remember that position and rank need to be respected.

"You do not let a subordinate contact a senior counterpart in a local firm. Contact must always be between equals."

For Icge and his friends, the cultural club also presents an opportunity for dating locals, and here, misunderstandings are expected.

"In Turkey, if a boy likes a girl, he will just ask her out. If he wants to be her boyfriend, he will ask this also."

But in China, "girls are more shy, more conservative. They do not fall in love quickly. It takes more time to get to know them. Plus we have to ask, not one or two, but three or four times, before they will accept us."

The language is also a problem he admits, with Turkish being very different from English and having a lot of idioms, communicating in a second language, for both sides, is difficult.

Solving this requires a lot of talking and explaining, he says. When dating Chinese, "we have to be patient and build trust."

In China, "relationships take time," says Yu. "People want to get to know you slowly. They don't want to know everything about you from day one."

(China Daily 07/27/2007 page19)