The bare-bellied way to put a dampener on a sizzling summer
One of the best ways to utterly dampen the cheerful mood of a friendly dinner party is to serve up the subject of global warming. What a party pooper!
"The end is nigh, the sky is falling, the temperatures are soaring, the oceans are rising, the floods will wash us all away and, excuse me... may you pass the soy sauce?"
As summer starts to sizzle in the Middle Kingdom, the warmer weather, for some, prompts gloomy discussion of the world's pending doom.
For me, a Chinese summer is not a bummer. It is a season of intriguing and spectacular sights, the first of which are those absolutely fabulous bellies that parade the streets with pride.
The rising mercury forces T-shirts to rise too, exposing some of the best bellies in the world as they bounce and jiggle. I especially like the big, fat Buddha-style bellies, blubbering around with purpose and poise.
The art of baring one's belly is not just an old man's game, it is practiced by men of all ages. I was gobsmacked to see a really hip 20-something guy bare his belly, right in front of me. He was wearing torn designer jeans, Elton John-style monster sunglasses, moccasins and a skin-tight bright orange singlet. As we were about to pass on the footpath, he rolled up his singlet and bingo!
From my experience, the bare-belly cooling technique works best when walking. The whole process functions the same way a car's radiator chills out the engine.
The big bellies are the best. Girl-like bellies, such as David Beckham's taut and trim tummy, are very hard to stomach. Some may say the Beckham belly is "ab fab", but I call it an absolute disgrace. Many football navel gazers support my view - they all say the soccer superstar lacks guts.
Another interesting summer outdoor practice, which I have rarely seen anywhere else, is the donning of pyjamas in broad daylight. I saw an elderly couple strolling down the sidewalk in their flannels, and it was a real head-turner. I saw another man cross-legged at the front of his hairdressing salon, wearing only his pyjama bottoms, at 4:30 in the afternoon.
In the West, if people wander the daytime streets in their PJs, many would call the police. Concerned citizens may think the curious wander had escaped from some mental hospital.
But I don't know why many of us Westerners think like that. Pyjamas are one of the most comfortable pieces of clothing and my recent observations have made me rethink my clothing code standards.
If I had my way, I'd wear pyjamas all day and night. I can jump straight out of bed, walk out the door and go to work. If it gets a bit chilly, I'll put on a dressing gown and some slippers. But this is nothing new. The ancient Chinese wore this outfit as their normal clobber, as did the Romans and the Greeks. And all these pyjama-wearing guys knew how to throw excellent dinner parties.
I'm not a history expert, but I am sure of one thing. They didn't bore their dinner party guests senseless with talk of global warming.
(China Daily 05/31/2007 page20)
