The ABCs of Chinese ladies
Do you know your A, B, C and Ds of the Chinese dating game? And do you also know that many foreigner faces look a bit like squashed teapot?
These two subjects are closely related, so friends, foreigners and funsters, lend me your ears.
A good friend revealed the secret desires of Chinese women and a matchmaking system. Britney said her Chinese girlfriends ranked people, both men and women, in four categories depending on looks, intelligence, success and wealth.
People on the A list are the glamorous, top-shelf talents you meet at exclusive clubs and parties. Unattractive men can also fall into this category if their bank balance is big enough. These A types are ranked very good, or hen hao, as all foreigners know how to say.
B people are ranked good, have talent, a decent job and prospects, but not the model good looks or the deep pockets of the As. C people are rated average. I suppose many people may consider themselves average, like I do, and are a C.
I come from Australia, which has a very egalitarian social system. Most Aussies rank themselves as average, even if they are not, because nobody Down Under likes a boastful booby.
My American friends are different, and many would insist they were an A without hesitation. The British would most probably want to question the ranking rule system and add more qualifications, while my French friends would probably scoff at this whole damn scenario.
Finally, there are the Ds otherwise known as total losers.
According to the matchmaking system, a Chinese D girl tries to hook up with a Chinese C guy, a C girl wants a B and a Chinese B girl wants an A man.
So what do Chinese A women want? According to Britney, A-list Chinese girls want a foreign husband. Britney says a foreigner opens up bold new worlds for an A girl and can give her more opportunities than an A Chinese man the chance for them to live and work abroad.
Even a C male like me can attract an A type Chinese girl, so I am told.
The following day after hearing about this ABCD system, another Chinese female friend told me that most foreigners have heads like a warped teapot. We were both looking at boccaro clay teapots, which were reshaped by an artist, and her honesty was as refreshing as a nice cup of purer.
In the eyes of some Chinese, Caucasian foreigners have relatively big noses, long faces and exaggerated features just like the crazy teapot.
This honest description made me question the judgment of Chinese A-type women. It seems they have all gone a bit of potty! I asked Britney if my face looked like a squashed teapot. "Teapots are good things and deliver warmth and comfort," she said, not answering the question.
Britney's dubious ranking system made me think of a little ditty, which may describe the end result of many A-type teapot unions.
I'm a little teapot, short and stout;
Here is my handle and here is my spout;
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out.
(China Daily 05/08/2007 page20)
