Celebrity clothing or cloning?

All female, all style icons, and all apparently desperate to remake women in their own image. Never mind the spoilsports who'd say this branding is on a crass par with lending your name to spaghetti hoops or loo roll, this is big fashion news.

Young women have already stated their intention to sleep on the pavement outside the shops if that's what it takes. And if you think that's a bit de trop, you should know that they're a new breed of psycho-fashion teeny-boppers. Instead of lusting after Take That, they go all Play Misty For Me over celebrity-endorsed smock tops. And then go home and stick everything they've bought on eBay.

There's nothing new about celebrity fashion, but celebrities used to know their place i.e. not at the "cutting edge". So while you'd get the odd swimwear line (post-divorce Jerry Hall showing off her figure-flattering beach saris), nobody was pretending they were big-time designers.

Moreover, it was a Good Thing when real designers started "diffusion lines" (for any fashion-unconscious gentlemen reading, this is the practice of posh designers doing cheaper stuff in mainly synthetic fabrics, in a "creative quest" not to go bankrupt). This could be termed the "bonsai" approach to high fashion the small version of thebig name.

It also meant that cheapskates like me got to wear labels, even if we did have to be careful not to stand too close to a naked flame.

However, the dark art of celebrity fashion cloning, from Dolly the Sheep to millions of little fashion sheep running around "being" Kate, or Madge or Lily, this seems to be a new and sinister thing.

Looking more closely at the celebrity ranges, Lily Allen one can just about understand. At least she is young and has that "street Audrey Hepburn" thing going on. But hasn't Madonna already blown it once? All that vogue-ing, all those stylized videos and yoga-tastic leotards, and what did she come up with for H&M last time?

A white "Waynetta" tracksuit with pockets big enough to hold a kebab. One can imagine the blood, sweat, tears, the all-of-10-seconds' thought, put into that. "I see a tracksuit. White. With pockets." Brilliant.

Then there is La Moss. Granted, she is our foremost style icon, but what is this one hears about her turning up at Topshop with a bunch of her own clothes for them to copy, sorry, "draw inspiration from". Much as I applaud Moss' championship-level idleness, this does not bode well for her collection. All she seems to have worn recently are a pair of skanky denim shorts and Pete Doherty. But then maybe the bottom line is that, apart from the bottom line, Celebrity Cloning lines are a bad idea altogether.

What is most annoying is that this is such a wasted opportunity. The fat cats at the fashion emporiums could be striking a blow for the ordinary woman. Instead of using beautiful, thin people, they could get in more "attainable" fashion gals.

Alternatively, someone could do a range that is actually useful. Celebrities know a thing or two about lounging around doing chaff-all why doesn't someone do a range for home-workers like me (I'm seeing pyjamas with proper clothes stapled on top to fool people into thinking you've managed to get dressed). And where is the long-awaited Amy Winehouse Clothes That Don't Show Booze Stains range? Now that would be a fashion statement I could relate to.

More seriously, isn't there something, not so much morally wrong, just generally dull, about this Celebrity Cloning? Not to mention incongruous. Look at Britain's global sartorial fingerprint and what sets us apart is our love of originality and individuality.

Ironically enough, it is a large part of the reason the likes of Moss and Allen are so adored. Perhaps, better all round to dress like someone with a mind and wardrobe of their own.

The Guardian

(China Daily 04/06/2007 page19)