Making the cut
Chen Feifei, 50, models on International Women's Day on March 8 after undergoing gender-change operation at the Apricot Plastic Surgery Hospital in Shenyang, Liaoning Province. Huang Jinkun |
Chen nervously paced a hallway at Shenyang's Apricot Plastic Surgery Hospital two weeks ago. His wife and sister were tucked deep into a sofa around the corner, glancing up briefly when a visitor entered before looking down to avoid eye contact.
Dressed in women's clothes, with a fashionable light green coat and black boots, and wearing pink nail polish, outwardly Chen already has made a convincing male-to-female transition.
He's just waiting to undergo final sex reassignment surgery in April. Chen is from Liaozhong County, some 700 kilometers northeast of Beijing, where he has lived as a married man for nearly three decades. He and his wife have raised two daughters, and he supplements their farm income with a side job repairing household appliances.
Chen says he always differed from his neighbors slightly he dressed more tidily and was more concerned with cleanliness but didn't start to feel like a woman until about a decade ago.
The psychological change was accompanied by physical sensations, Chen recalled. "I found that my shoes became too big while my torso got smaller," and his skin seemed to grow whiter and smoother, he said.
"From then on, I could not help dreaming of living as a woman."
With two daughters still in school, Chen kept the sensations secret even as they grew stronger. At night, however, he stealthily began cross-dressing in his wife Li Min's nylons and skirts. When she discovered him, she felt scared, deeply ashamed and haunted by the idea that others might find out some day, Li recalled. "How would they look at us?"
The case of high-profile designer Jimmy (center), who has worked for stars such as Zhang Ziyi, has encouraged more ordinary folk grappling with issues of sex identity to go for sex-change surgery. Sun Jun |
Gradually, villagers began to notice Chen's changing behavior. But in a surprising contrast to what one might expect from traditional villagers, perhaps reflecting growing consciousness of gender non-conformity spread through news of high-profile cases, they did not reject or ostracize him.
"Sure, it was really unusual," commented a local resident, Zhang Ying. "But it was Lao Chen's choice and it's none of our business. Chen is a good man." Several years ago, Chen even felt comfortable enough to begin openly dressing as a woman and wearing makeup.
A turning point came in July 2006, when his elder daughter, Xiao Ying, graduated from medical college.
For the first time, he declared to his family what all of them already knew that he wanted to be a woman. His wife found herself resistant but when he attempted suicide three times, she finally relented.
Their two daughters had a somewhat easier time accepting Chen's choice. "He has taken care of me for decades and made great sacrifices for me," said Chen Xiaoying. "No matter what he does, I am on his side."
She accompanied her father to Shenyang's plastic surgery hospital to advocate on his behalf.
At first the hospital's president, Dr Shi Lingzhi, who oversees transgender surgery, rejected their request. "I could not understand why a 50-year farmer wanted to do this," she said; in fact, she admitted, she thought Chen was out of his mind.
But as she learned more, and particularly in light of his wife's strong support, she changed her mind.
"Chen is very lucky. His family understands and supports him," Shi remarked.
Nevertheless, given the surgery's irreversibility and permanence, Shi took a cautious approach. She approved only after Chen had provided 16 supporting documents, including affidavits from a psychiatrist, relatives and his local police.
Liu Yin of China Medical University, the psychiatrist who did the mental competency evaluation, explained why Chen had struggled for years with his transgender feelings: His psychological gender his deepest awareness of his identity does not correspond to the parts he was born with, she said.
China is gradually coming to accept the existence and realities of "transgender" individuals, who can range from cross-dressers to those who actually seek surgical genital correction to match their internal gender identification.
No one knows how many transgendered people exist in China, but Shi estimates that "gender-identity disorder" occurs in at least one of every 100,000 people which would mean more than 10,000 gender non-conformists in China. Only a tiny fraction of that number have sought surgery.
Shi's hospital is known as one of the best in China for such operations, and she said they have performed transsexual surgery on five people in recent years amidst growing knowledge of a condition that was hardly recognized in the past.
The example of a celebrity such as top designer Jimmy, who is openly transgendered and whose star clients include Ricky Martin, Jet Li and Zhang Ziyi, has contributed to the climate of rising tolerance.
The process is complex: Since last August, Chen has undergone three operations to sharpen his chin, remove his Adam's apple and augment his breasts, and he is scheduled for a final operation in April.
The ultimate aim, Shi noted, is "to help Chen rebalance his inner and outward selves". The key to success is not "technical", she said; the main challenge is dealing with the psychological aspects of the sex reassignment surgery.
But Chen said he is feeling confident and joyful at the prospect of living as a woman at last. His plans to start afresh where nobody knows him as a former man are already moving forward; he has leased his plot of land back home for 10,000 yuan ($1,300) and rented a flat in the city of Shenyang, where he's hoping to do promotions for a beauty parlor.
His wife and daughters have moved to Shenyang with him. But he asks his wife to call him "sister" and his daughters to call him "aunt".
Other challenges undoubtedly lie ahead. Chen has yet to persuade local police to change the sex designation on his birth certificate and identity card. And if they grant the change, he might have to divorce his wife because China's current Marriage Law permits marriage only between people of the opposite sex.
In an illustration that sex is not destiny, however, Chen remains devoted to Li, who has yet to find a means to support herself in the big city.
"I would never throw her over," he said. "We are one family and this will never change."
(China Daily 03/29/2007 page20)
