Time to care for our carers

One day during the COVID-19 pandemic, John Leung's elder brother suddenly went missing.

Fearing the worst, Leung found a suicide note. After a decade of depression and feeling like a burden on his family, his brother had tried to end his own life.

"As a family member, I cannot give up on my brother, but I cannot help getting mad at him too," said Leung, whose brother survived. "Without the support of my church, I would have suffered burnout."

This was just one of the many difficult situations that 36-year-old schoolteacher Leung faced as a family carer.

For the past 10 years, Leung and his mother have sacrificed a lot of time and money to look after his brother. Their tasks include accompanying him to health checkups and taking annual leave so they could be present for the weekly visits by community nurses. "He is often reluctant to visit the private counselor and take his medicine when he should. It is very tiring to persuade him," Leung recalled.

When Leung's relatives visited, they would make remarks about his brother. "Things used to be fine. How did he get like this?"

"I understand they care for my family, but it piles a lot of pressure on us," Leung said.

Leung's experience offers a glimpse into the extreme challenges faced by many family carers in Hong Kong.

In the worst instances, there can be devastating consequences. For example, in October 2023, a mother in Diamond Hill wounded her intellectually disabled twin sons with a knife, which she then injured herself with. In another shocking case, in March 2022, a daughter needing psychiatric support was fatally strangled by her father in Tai Kok Tsui.

Carers were also the focus of the 2016 Hong Kong movie Mad World, which was based on real cases in the city, in which the character Ah Tung tried to balance the demands of work and having to look after his emotionally unstable mother. Under immense pressure, he killed his mother and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Tragedies like the real-world examples above illustrate a small part of a bigger issue.