Intimately His

(smartshanghai.com)
Updated: 2008-02-14 11:15

Strapped up and slinged in, I took the C-IN2s out for a test drive one Friday night and I cannot speak its praises highly enough. I found myself strutting around various bars with a greatly exaggerated confidence -- I was the cock of the roost -- gesturing wildly with my bulge and grabbing it with vigor to add punctuation to my many conversations. Leaning back in my chair I sat with a self-satisfying grin as I surveyed the other chaps at the bar. I pictured their penises hanging dejectedly and despondently between their legs, swathed in something utilitarian and proletarian, and mine robustly stung up and alert, in the latest technology, in the thick of the fray.

Observe the diagram: the unslung penis looks forlorn and shamed, as if it has to take a D report card home to mum and dad. The slung penis, however, looks poised, assertive and stately, as if preparing to strut on stage to receive a congressional medal of valour. That's a Jack Bauer kinda cock right there.

The downside? It's basically a bra for your penis and it feels like it. When you're strapped in you don't and won't forget it. This is also a factor if, heaven forbid, you become arousedin the course of your evening. Studs, give yourself a little room to grow when adjusting your barbell in the fitting. Unless slight discomfort is your thing.

Also, if you happen to use a public bathroom, a little social awkwardness can arise if someone occupies the urinal beside you and happens to glance over. As it turns out, most people are taken aback when they see a stranger in the bathroom wrestling with an elastic strap around their package. Sorry to "guy" in the bathroom at The Shelterthat one night. But whatever... it was for science, man, open your mind.

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