The Week December 11, 2009

Boom Boom Con

One jail there became an internet hit with their rendition of Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

Now, the Makati City Jail has launched their bid for www stardom with their Christmas rendition of Boom Boom Pow!

Yes folks I’m sure the good people of Manila are ecstatic their tax pesos are being spent on murderers and rapists dressing up in Santa costumes while line dancing to the Black Eyed Peas classic in a bid to top the Christmas charts.

I guess, even in Jail, You gotta have that Boom Boom Pow.

One buffalo policy?

A buffalo has given birth to twins in Guangdong. The calves, both female, weighed 45kg together. Mother and buffalos are doing well after this extraordinarily rare birth.

Initial reaction in China has questioned: is there a one-buffalo policy? Local officials are trying to find out.

International interest is expected from buffaloes struggling to conceive. And questions still remain if these were actually “in vitro fertilization” buffaloes?

Wine Flu

Recently we told you about garlic price in China soaring but health officials confirmed this week that garlic and chili are not effective in fighting H1N1 or swine flu as it is called in some countries.

Apart from making your breath smell and burning the crap out meek westerners, the myth that the spices ward off illnesses. A myth. Just like the tooth-fairy and Santa Clause alike.

Anyway so need to inform you about the new pandemic sweeping the nation called Wine Flu. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol seem to accelerate the symptoms which are just like normal flu; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes.

If you develop these symptoms after drinking should consider getting a DV, which you will have to buy as the free sharing sites have been closed down or calling in sick. Others have reported a McDonalds’ double cheese burger can help in some cases.

Yes I do

Guan Yisong and his 27-year-old bride Xu Wei have gone to extraordinary lengths to make their happy day as environmentally-friendly as possible.

They have arranged for their wedding in a hotel next to a subway station and plan no swanky limousines to help reduce the emissions produced by guests.

Guan plans to calculate the total emissions produced by their wedding. To offset this they will plant trees and invest in wind farms.

It is not known whether his bride knew this before agreeing to marry him or if he will hold his breath during the consummation of their marriage.

Burning love

To the internet now and a woman in Shandong province who set fire to her house as she was angry at her husband’s addiction to online games. The man put out the blaze but then left immediately to go to their nearest internet cafe to continue his game of “Happy Farm”.

Porn surge

News this week revealed searches for porn sites have sky-rocketed after authorities announced they would pay up to 10,000 yuan for tip offs about adult sites. Yes folks the great nation of China is willing to pay people to search for porn.