Discrimination is destructive

Xuan Hai, 33, a visually impaired government employee in Shucheng county, Anhui province, spoke with Li Lei.

Looking back on my relationship, what I regret most is that I was preoccupied with reality and didn't enjoy our time together.

I got to know my ex-girlfriend in 2014. We were both in a chat group on QQ, a messaging tool. I added her account after we agreed on several issues in group discussions.

She liked to send photos, but it was a struggle for me. So I told her I had vision issues, and that I chatted and surfed the internet using screen-reading software. She replied that she didn't know anyone with a visual disability.

Several months later, we decided to meet in person near my home. I will never forget the moment when she arrived by bus from neighboring Jiangsu province. I could feel her smiling at my side.

She allowed me to put my arm around her shoulder while walking, and we spent the whole day wandering around the ancient part of Liu'an city.

After we parted, I asked about her impressions of me. I was curious to know if she felt pressure being with someone who could not see. To my relief, she said she felt a little bit nervous at first, but soon felt at ease.

When I professed my love, she sighed and said a well-known visually impaired couple had broken up recently and she could not see a future for us. But I encouraged her and I said not every relationship would be the same.

Two months later, we visited Hangzhou, Zhejiang province. She had wanted to go to Chongqing in Southwest China, but I said it was too far away and saved it for the future.

I was so proud when she met my friends. I bragged to them and said she was taking good care of me. I also went to her city and met her friends, but none of them seemed supportive of her choice.

She went home for Chinese New Year. She told her parents about me, but they were very angry and told her to stop dating me.

We quarreled and broke up. She accused me of not understanding the pressure that her family, friends and even neighbors had imposed on her. I knew deep inside that it would be unrealistic for me to quit my job and go to her city.

A little later I learned that she had married an able-bodied man.

For me, it's important that my love has common interests and similar views of the world, values and life. That's why I liked her.

Most people like me have a very narrow social circle, and that creates massive problems if they want to meet the right person. Financial status also plays a pivotal role, but above all, public discrimination is the most destructive thing.