A mix of US, Chinese education best for kids

Zeal for achievement with encouraging growth of independence may give child benefit of both worlds

In Chinese, the newly coined word pinma translates to "mompetition" in English. Specifically, it means competition among mothers to give their children the best education and help them excel in different fields. The concept of "mompetition" has even traveled overseas and begun playing an important role in children's education in Western countries such as the United States.

Understanding the differences between Chinese and US family education will help the two sides see their respective advantages and use them to make comparisons more meaningful and healthy.

There is no denying that the influence of family education is the most profound on a child's development and could determine how a young life will ultimately shape up. However, unlike other types of investments, education is not something parents necessarily will harvest as much as they expect. If parents have scant knowledge of the norms of education and are misguided by wrong educational ideas, the more efforts they make to get things right, the more harm they might cause their children. Hence, a mother's investment in her child's growth is likely to be fruitful only when used with the right strategy.

To gain an advantage in "mompetition", some say Chinese moms have to be versatile. They have to be good not only at household chores, but also at telling stories, teaching mathematics and English grammar, helping their children with compositions, musical instruments and painting, as well as planning trips for their offspring and taking perfect photographs. This should give an idea of the extent to which many Chinese mothers intervene in their child's life; sometimes they even do their children's homework to ensure they out-compete their peers.

In contrast, most American mothers generally desist from meddling in their children's lives. More often than not, they just offer their children support or guide them, for example, to work as company interns or volunteers in some poor region. Even when it comes to helping their children, American mothers tend to acquaint them with facts and provide them aid and/or advice.

Since most children eventually leave their parents and become independent individuals, parents should create opportunities for their independent growth rather than occupying every corner of their life.

Chinese mothers always try their best to help their children as much as possible, and even make crucial decisions for them without thinking what the kids want because they believe they are doing it for their good. Given these facts, the healthy growth of children and the education norms always have to yield to parents' will. If a mother registers her child for an extracurricular class to raise his chances of getting admitted to a key school, she will insist on it even if the child says "no" to the idea.

In the US, however, it is more likely to see mothers respecting their children's opinions and giving them more weight.

The great importance Chinese mothers attach to education is praiseworthy. Yet they should learn from their Western counterparts how to strike the right balance in the parent-child relationship when it comes to education.

US President Barack Obama has on many occasions emphasized the importance of bridging the education gap between American and Chinese children. The differences in the two education systems and the roles of mothers in China and the US are stark. No wonder that Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, written by Chinese-American Amy Chua, triggered heated discussions on the pros and cons of Chinese and US education systems, not only in the US and China but also in other parts of the world.

Judging by the facts, a combination of Chinese moms' strict requirements and American moms' advocacy of independence could bring out the best in children, and take "mompetition" to a noble level.

The author is director of the family research center at China Youth & Children Research Center. The views do not necessarily reflect those of China Daily.

(China Daily Africa Weekly 09/25/2015 page13)