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What it's like to date a beijing dude

By Marjorie Perry | China Daily | Updated: 2017-07-15 07:11
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Why do we have to eat Sunday lunch with your parents .... every .... single.... weekend ....

My family is super awesome. I enjoy spending time with them, keeping up to date on what is happening in their lives, and encouraging them in all their goals. If I lived in the same place as them, I'd go see them often. For these reasons, I perceive myself as a relatively 'family-oriented' person. Thus, something I really appreciate about dating a local is the opportunity to feel like I am connected with a family here in Beijing.

Lately however I am finding that "going home" every weekend to eat lunch with GL's parents has started to wear on me, just a little. Perhaps if it were a more enjoyable experience, I would be more willing to go. Inevitably though, there is always some arguing. GL does adore his parents, I am sure that they are the most important people to him, but the three of them just have a certain way of interacting that repeats itself every time we get together.

It goes something like this: when we meet with GL's parents, his dad tries to give him some advice - about investing, about new government policies, about taking care of his health, about being a good boyfriend (I'm not making this up). Then his mom complains about something - about getting old, about her cell phone not working, about not having an appetite; or she worries about something that drives others crazy, like she doesn't want to take off her hat as she is afraid she will lose it.

GL then gets frustrated at this constant nagging, as does his dad. Annoyed, the two of them try to convince Aunty to calm down and stop complaining. She resists because she can't calm down, and then someone gets frustrated and angry. Things quiet down and we continue eating; but after a couple minutes, the cycle will start again.

Yet, despite the fact that the experience of eating with GL's parents will likely not be that enjoyable, we continue to go ... every ... single ...weekend. Why? It must be due to GL's sense of familial obligation to them. And I empathize with the guy, having to take care of his parents, who sometimes don't get along with each other, and can have a lot of needs.

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