Father's Day cards sport some pretty typical jokes, with the punch lines often asking Dad for money in one way or another. But these days, fathers aren't laughing over the pressure they face to dole out the dollars on their kids.
Mirroring the general rise in consumerism over the last few generations, teenagers are spending more money than ever. Just last year, 31.6 million teens spent 5 billion, according to the Northbrook, Ill.,-based market research group Teenage Research Unlimited. Much of that money, of course, comes from parents.
Shocked at how much money kids spend? Maybe you haven't checked the price tags lately on some of the younger generation's must-haves.
Tickets to the *NSYNC concert at Chicago's Soldier Field this weekend could set you back more than a pop. That's still cheaper than the latest Air Jordan shoe from Nike, which goes for 0 a pair. A Sony Play Station 2: 0.
To some, such extravagant spending on the notoriously fickle young might seem outrageous. Why do some parents give in?
Buckling Under Pressure, Guilt
One factor is surely the sheer power of marketing through mass media. According to the group Adbusters, teenagers are exposed to an estimated 3,000 advertisements each day. Combine the ads with programming itself, like the fashion-, music- and skin-filled shows on MTV, and you've got a barrage of messages telling kids what they should own if they want to fit in.
"The pressures on parents today are enormous," says Tom Vogele, a single father of twin 18-year-old girls in Newport Beach, Calif. "I truly believe it is harder today to raise children without spoiling them, not because parents are less capable or lazy, but because so many forces are working against me."
Many working parents probably compensate by spending money on their kids, says Timothy Marshall, an associate professor of developmental psychology at Christopher Newport University in Virginia. For some, there is probably some guilt involved in not spending enough time at home.
But, adds Marshall, spending money is also often more convenient in our fast-paced society than going to baseball games or other activities.
"It's easier to say let's go out and spend some money, in terms of finding time in a busy schedule to spend with kids," Marshall said.
The Virtues of Budgeting, Saying No
For many families, of course, keeping up with their children's costly demands for designer clothing, CDs, and concert tickets is a financial impossibility. Even for those families who can afford such lavish spending, striking a compromise between spoiling the kids and denying them is tricky, but possible.
Teaching kids how to budget and save is key, Marshall says. Instead of just giving children the toys or clothing they desire, give them an allowance and show them how they can save up for whatever they want, he says.
And don't be afraid to just say no, Marshall adds. "We need to step up and tell kids where the boundaries are, that's part of our responsibility as parents," he said.
(Agencies)
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父亲节贺卡在给当爸爸的带来一些开心笑话的同时却常常在转弯抹角向爸爸要钱花。如今，当爸爸的面对给孩子花钱的压力再也笑不出来了。
消费主义在过去几十年的扩张，更是在当今出手不凡的小孩中得到体现-他们花的钱比以往任何一代的都多。据美国伊利诺伊州诺茨布鲁克一叫做少儿研究公司的市场调研组织称，仅在去年，3160万孩子花掉了1550亿美金。当然，这笔钱大多数来自他们父母。
这个数据令你吃惊吗？也许你最近没看过这帮孩子必备品的价格标签吧。
本周末在芝加哥Soldier Field举行的NSYNC组合演唱会票价要75美金，这可能会吓你一跳，不过和160美金一双的耐克牌乔丹气垫鞋比起来那可谓小巫见大巫，更别提价值300美金的索尼游戏操纵平台。
有些人反对花很多钱给小毛孩买奢侈品，认为是种让浪费。那为什么做父母的会屈服掏钱？
原因之一要归咎于借助传媒兴风作浪的市场营销。根据Adbusters公司的调查，少年儿童每天会接触到大约3，000个广告。再加上有些电视节目，如集时装、音乐和化妆于一体的MTV，铺天盖地地传出信息引导孩子们应该拥有什么才算跟上潮流。
一位住在加州新港海滩的名叫汤姆-伏格尔的单身父亲抚养着一对18岁的孪生女儿。他说："今天的父母承受的压力太大了。我的确相信当今要做到不宠惯孩子就把他们养大成人简直太难了。这不是因为父母能力下降或懒惰，而是因为我所面临的阻力太多了。"
弗吉尼亚克里斯多弗-新港大学的发展心理学讲师提摩太-马歇尔说："好多有工作的父母大概想通过在孩子身上花钱来作为一种弥补。他们为没足够的时间陪孩子而感到愧疚。"
不过，马歇尔补充说，在时下快节奏的社会里，在孩子身上多花钱和带他们去棒球比赛或其他活动相比要来得更便利些。
马歇尔还说："在忙碌的日程中抽空陪孩子的比较易行的方法是跟孩子说：'走，咱们找个地儿方破费吧去。"
当然，对好多家庭而言，无止境满足孩子对时装、唱片和音乐会的要求从经济上讲是不可能的。即便那些承受得住这样大手大脚花钱的家庭，也要在宠惯孩子和拒绝孩子的要求之间平衡折中，--这是件颇费脑筋的事，不过这是有可能的。
马歇尔认为，问题的关键是应教孩子如何花钱和存钱。与其给孩子买他们中意的玩具和衣服，还不如给他们零用钱教他们把钱存起来以便日后用在自己想做的事情上面。
马歇尔又补充说，千万不要怕说不。"我们必须让孩子知道花钱的界限所在，这也是为人父母的责任。"
(中国日报网站译)
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Updated: 2001-06-25 01:00
