Holiday happiness and home thoughts from abroad

"Parting with friends is a sadness. A place is only a place."

－Frank Herbert, Dune

March 2019. That was the last time I was home to visit my family. The COVID-19 pandemic put a halt to subsequent plans. Nearly three years later, the pangs of separation are brought into sharp relief by the arrival of yet another holiday season spent apart from my loved ones.

My first holiday in China was magical! I arrived, in October, just in time to experience Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, China-style! My company was very enthusiastic. They encouraged us to come to work in costume. They provided a Thanksgiving buffet and we sang Christmas carols in the office. I made some friends by then and the small group of expats I did know were kind enough to invite me to potlucks and gift exchanges. Even though I was away from my family for the holidays, I was starting an exciting new chapter in my life with their full support, which meant the world to me.

By the second holiday season, my circle of friends was more robust. Festivities lasted for several days instead of one. It was a joyous time! I hopped over to Japan for Christmas, with plans to visit home in March 2020. COVID said, "No."

The expat community reeled. Many found themselves stuck outside of China and, nearly three years later, have given up on returning. Jobs, apartments, pets and possessions were abandoned or left to friends. Those of us who remained were beneficiaries of China's COVID countermeasures, and we did our part to comply to ensure the safety of ourselves and the people around us. Masks, social distancing, scanning health codes and complying with travel restrictions are par for the course now.

Occasional COVID flare-ups notwithstanding, life in China has returned to a relative normal. We're back working in the office, stores have reopened, and events have resumed. I've even been fortunate enough to do some traveling around China. The one thing which remains largely closed to us is international travel. While it is possible to leave China (if one can afford the high price of airline tickets), it is not at all guaranteed that one can return. I'd imagine that those of us with valid visas who have built a life here would have some priority to return, but there are other forms to obtain and the approval process seems slow and arbitrary. We don't dare chance being stuck outside away from our lives and our livelihoods.

That sounds very dramatic, doesn't it? Agreed. Time away from family is a sacrifice those living abroad willingly and knowingly make. Is such an extended time away the biggest sacrifice made during the height of the pandemic? Naturally not. Some gave their lives to serve the public good. Are we ignorant of China's effort to keep its people and boarders safe? Naturally not. We are grateful and have willingly participated in these efforts. But if anyone can understand the longing to be home, especially during the holidays, it is the Chinese people who have a beautifully profound sense of familial love.

I am grateful for my life in China. I've got a good job; I'm surrounded by excellent people. There's much to see and experience here which makes life dynamic and exciting and fulfilling. There are holiday feasts and markets and events to enjoy which take the sting out of being away from home. I cannot deny, however, that three years away from my loved ones is far too long. I hope to be able to see and hug them soon.