Second guessing third culture

Updated: 2014-06-22 07:31

By Erik Nilsson(China Daily)

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Third-culture kids - whose numbers are growing globally, especially in China - typically share a unique mindset unlike their parents' passport countries' or their own visa nations'. Erik Nilsson looks at this demographic, who's neither here nor there but everywhere.

They often fly before they can walk - many fly frequently. Young ones may have as many passport stamps as activity book stickers. Older ones know where they've grown up but likely can't say where they're "from". Third-culture kids rank among the world's fastest-growing demographics. And their numbers are swelling in China, as more foreign parents live, work and raise children in the world's second-largest economy.

TCKs are "(people who've) spent a significant part of (their) developmental years outside the parents' culture", according to the most-cited definition, by sociologist David Pollock.

They're different from people who've never lived outside their home culture and those who first do so as adults - often, their parents.

Pollock's writings explained: "The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background." Experts agree TCKs tend to better relate to other TCKs than with either their parents' passport or their own visa cultures - even if none of the TCK peers' particular country backgrounds overlap.

This suggests a person raised in China's Shenyang, by a mother from New Zealand and a father from Uzbekistan, is more likely to share an affinity with a person raised in Djibouti, by a father from Sri Lanka and a mother from Denmark, than with non-TCKs from any of those particular countries.

Such mouthfuls can be tongue-twisting and mind-numbing obstacles for TCKs to articulate where they're from and who they are - and not only to others.

Yet, while TCKs' identity and belonging issues are studied by experts and produce specialized therapists, they're flip sides to such rewards as multilingualism, multiculturalism and adaptability.

And problems can be overcome.

"The benefits of raising a kid in a foreign country far outweigh the disadvantages," Beijing United Family Hospital's psychological health center director Robert Blinn says.

"There can be a confusion in self-identity. And kids often ask the question: 'Who am I?' Children growing up in China for the most part face the same obstacles as other third-culture kids growing up in any country."

Five-year-old Pedro Roldao's Portuguese parents say multilingual proficiencies and multiculturalism have come without identity confusion. The boy, who has lived in China since he was 6 months old, speaks fluent Chinese, Portuguese and English.

"Chinese is such a difficult language to learn when you're a grown-up. Being able to learn Chinese at such young age is certainly an advantage," his mother Ana Magalhaes says.

"Most kids his age raised in our home country only speak their mother tongue. Our son is exposed to such unique, rich and diverse experiences that'd be impossible back home. He knows a lot of countries and flags because he associates each country and flag with his own friends.

"Living here opens his horizons. We notice our son sees the world as a much smaller place than kids back home."

Her husband Renato Roldao says the couple doesn't share TCKs' parents' identity concerns. That's partly because Pedro spends three months a year in Portugal.

"It's an advantage to have two places he calls home," Magalhaes says.

"Our son says he has his Portuguese home and his Chinese home."

She says that at age 3, he'd tell people he's from China. He cheered for Chinese athletes during the London Olympics.

"We explained to him that we understand he really likes China, but he's Portuguese," his father says.

"Now he says he's Portuguese."

American Nick Golding and Ugandan Julian Kirabo say they've so far mostly discovered advantages to raising 2-year-old Zuri in China.

"I think some day the cultural and language skills she develops may be useful professionally," Golding says.

"More than that, I hope she develops into a tolerant person who's accepting of others and feels comfortable in her own skin. I think that in our more global society, she'll be well equipped to adapt to any major international city."

The couple is taking a wait-and-see approach to downsides.

"It's hard to say ... she's only 2," Golding says.

The current drawbacks, he says, are being far from family and missing holidays.

He believes family is important to cultural transmission.

"It feels a little artificial trying to recreate the atmosphere around important cultural events," he says.

"Also, my wife and I come from different countries and thus have totally different traditions."

Yet third-culture parenthood offers benefits in this realm, he says.

"For our specific situation of being a couple from two different countries, raising our child in a third country also feels like we're raising her in neutral territory," the father explains.

"With our own home activities and trips to the US and Uganda, we can make her aware of where she comes from, but she can also be exposed to a new place."

Kirabo says: "We hope these experiences will make her a person who's comfortable wherever she is. That should be a vital skill in this rapidly globalizing world."

Golding points out that China is still a "fairly homogenous society".

"We're aware our little girl with her brown skin and crazy curly hair will never look like a local," he says.

Kirabo adds: "We just hope she has the language and cultural skills to make good friends and be a part of things as long as we're living here."

They believe she will.

"I think for Zuri, she was always going to be a little different regardless of where she's raised," Golding says.

"She still was going to have Ugandan and American influences that would make her a bit unusual in both places. I think the added experience in China is going to be a plus for her in the future and also makes for a pretty interesting childhood."

Kurt Nagl contributed to this story.

Second guessing third culture

(China Daily 06/22/2014 page1)