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Legal deals: Is putting a price on a kiss taking heart out of love?
( 2003-09-18 09:43) (China Daily HK Edition)

Legal consciousness and economic deliberations are taking over more and more areas in China, and this time, a private one.


People in love nowadays tend to be more independent from each other.

When 26-year-old Li Jun and 22-year-old Zhou Xuemei descended on a Chongqing law firm, they were doing something that would truly make Confucius spin in his grave. They signed a legal contract that, with 7 articles and 15 clauses, would bind every aspect of their love life.

For example, Article 8 stipulates that "both sides must keep everything that happens between them strictly confidential. No one can disclose anything to a third party without the other's prior consent." The financial remedy for violation is spelt out. Other details cover expenses and various responsibilities.

This may be unheard of, but the trend towards financial independence and legal self-protection in a relationship has already started in China.

In urban areas, young people on dates routinely go Dutch rather than having the gentleman pick up the tab of a meal.

The most profound change is probably the increasing acceptance of prenuptial agreements. According to Chen Ming, an attorney in Chengdu, Sichuan Province, the number of property disputes in divorce cases is increasing, and perhaps related to this, more and more people have realized the need to sign "pre-marriage property certification".

Old-timers lament the downward spiral of social mores. "What have we come to? Do we need a contract to stay in love?"

But many young people see it differently. "It shows women today are more mature. They know how to protect themselves by legal means," said Zhong Dingmo, a marriage counsellor.

Sociologist Zhou Kangping applauded the rational attitude that people in love take to material things.

Love is not taking a back seat now, he insisted while citing examples of newly-weds who sign prenups that deliberately combine their pre-marriage properties. "The importance is legal awareness. 'This is mine and that is yours' is just one way," he says.

By one account, most people who sign prenuptial agreements are much older than Li Jun and Zhou Xuemei. They have often had failed marriages before, and experience has taught them not to let the smoke of love get into the eyes of personal financial matters.

However, many people in China still find it hard to swallow. "If the cost of a meal has to be evenly or accurately divided. What about the price of a kiss? Do you also need a financial evaluation of that?" asked a clerk named Chen, sarcastically.

"The whole concept of using contracts to bind each other's behaviour is a bit too out of the league for most Chinese families," observed a researcher on marriage and relationships.

"People tend to believe in their feelings and their intuitions. When things don't go smoothly, they'd rather believe in fate."

 
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