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I'am not a fool, a lesbian either.
( 2003-08-25 09:07) (bjtoday.com)

I'm not a fool.
Ma Yue was in fact a very intelligent girl, who had simply become reclusive after not communicating with others for so long. Ma Yue was especially fond of imagination, but had had little opportunity to express her thoughts and explore her ideas.

Life would have been a whole different story for her if Ma Yue, IQ 138, had not been called a fool by her classmates when she was six years old. In the following ten years, the little girl was sent to a psychiatric hospital by her own mother, was diagnosed as a lesbian, and made two suicide attempts, until she finally met middle school teacher Li Shengzhen, who ended the nightmare.
I am not a fool

As a child, Ma Yue was timid, clever and sensible. In order to receive the best education, she was sent to a key primary school in the capital, where the teaching system was particularly strict. However, at the beginning of her happy school life, Ma Yue discovered she had poor eyesight, which led her to fall behind the other students.

Her classmates took advantage of her weakness, called her "fool,and on cold days, threw her cap in the snow and pelted her with stones. Ma Yue's parents and teachers were unaware of her suffering until she finally refused to go to school.Ma Yue was transferred to another school, where she was confused by the new program and often failed her assignments. Ma Yue's mother was called to the school constantly.

As a college teacher herself, the young mother felt she was losing face, and took out hr shame on her daughter by scolding and beating her angrily. Once, during a reading test, the instructor stood over Ma Yue and told the headmaster, "The child is a little bit stupid." Ma Yue was indeed dumbstruck.

At home, all of Ma Yue's relatives looked down on the black sheep of the family. Her uncle said to her mother, "I am worried about Ma Yue. I think there is something wrong with her brain."

Hearing this insult, her mother are overwhelmed with anger, struck her daughter with a disgusted blow. Ma Yue could no longer feel any of her mother's shame.Back at school, Ma Yue's classmates ritually excluded her from their games and coninued to consider her a fool. One day, she wrote on the ground with a piece of stone: "I am not a fool!" Ma Yue was transferred to another school. But by this time she was already disappointed with her teachers and peers, and fed up with school altogether. It was not long before she began to plot her escape.

Ma Yue went up to her mother with trembling hands, pressed a quilt on her mother's head and whispered, "Witch!" Then she told she didn't recognize anything or anyone, not even her. Ma Yue's frightened mother promptly brought her to the Children's Hospital, where doctors advised her to seek the psychiatric ward. Reluctantly, her mother turned her daughter over.

I am not a lesbian

Ma Yue was at first overjoyed to be in the hospital, thinking she would never have to go to school again. But no sooner had her parents walked out the door than the psychiatric staff immediately shackled her to the bed. In horror, she cried, "I am not mad, I was just pretending!" But the words of the girl who cried wolf fell on deaf ears. Her parents were strictly forbidden to visit. Realizing underestimation of the situation, Ma Yue finally told her parents the truth. Her mother believed her and took her home.

After that trial, Ma Yue's mother took Ma Yue to test her IQ. The young girl's unusuly high score of 138 inspired a new ray of hope to both mother and daughter.

Soon Ma Yue began junior high school, but her old classmates would not let her forget her past. Ma Yue longed to pour out her heart. It was at that time that a very special physics teacher entered the picture. This teacher cared for Ma Yue like a little sister, which made Ma Yue feel warm for the first time in her life.

When Ma Yue was forced to transfer to a senior high school, her separation from the physics teacher left her in a dark state of despair, and she failed her final semester examination. She ask to see a psychiatrist, who asked Ma Yue to write down the words hidden deep down in her heart. Ma Yue finally handed back a 10,000-word essay. Reading Ma Yue's personal words, her mother began to understand her daughter for the first time.

Meanwhile, after reading how Ma Yue missed her physics teacher so much that she couldn't concentrate on her studies, the psychiatrist diagnosed Ma Yue as a homosexual. Mother and daughter were dumbfounded. The physics teacher refused to see Ma Yue again.

In 1995, Ma Yue, then 16 years old, slashed her wrists to end her life. Her life was saved. She made a second attempt, and was saved again.

I am a human being

Just as Ma Yue was going mad for real, a new messenger of hope came to her in the form of Li Shengzhen, one of her mother's friends, who was then teaching at the Tongzhou District No.2 Middle School in the east of Beijing.

One sunny morning in May 1995, heavy-hearted Ma Yue set off alone to meet the unknown teacher. Once Li Shengzhen saw the scar on Ma Yue's wrist and heard te suffering in the young girl's heart, she felt deeply for Ma Yue. As their conversation progressed, Li found that Ma Yue was in fact a very intelligent girl, who had simply become reclusive after not communicating with others for so long. Ma Yue was especially fond of imagination, but had little opportunity to express her thoughts and explore her ideas. Li asked Ma Yue if she would like to attend her school. Trusting Li as someone who truly understood her, Ma Yue agreed.

Ma Yue's first step in reintegrating school life was choosing where to sit. Li introduced her to one girl saying, "She is very nice." With Li's encouragement, Ma Yue mustered he courage to ask, "I would like to sit beside you, will you accept me?" To Ma Yue's surprise, the girl smiled and welcomed her. From then on, Ma Yue thought everything else was a piece of cake. Since Ma Yue had fallen seriously behind after six months out of school, Li gave her special attention. After the first mid-term exam, Ma Yue ranked No.8 in her class.

Li was pleased with Ma Yue's positive response, and in the days that followed, she planned activities to help Ma Yue restore confidence in herself and continue to strive for success. She even encouraged Ma Yue to run for a position as one of the class leaders. Initially shy, Ma Yue finally agreed to compete for the position of organizing class recreational and sports activities.

Although Ma Yue trembled with both stage fright and incertitude as she delivered her election speech, Li found that Ma Yue expressed personal courage, good manner and sound opinion. So did Ma Yue's fellow students. Receiving the congratulations of her teachers and classmates after winning the electon, Ma Yue was moved to tears. This small victory was the happiest experience in whole her life.

Four years later in 1999, Ma Yue enrolled at the China Youth Politics College. Her mother expressed profound gratitude for her daughter's rehabilitation and progress in life: "Li is a great teacher. What she has done for Ma Yue is far more than I could ever do for her." In an altruistic effort to repent for her failed parental guidance, Ma's mother has now joined her daughter in the research of adolescent psychology.

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