Bearing burden of pain

In December, Li Haichao and her 1-year-old boy received a special teddy bear, made from her husband Xu Yuelong's jacket. On the stuffed animal's back, there is a stitched sentence－"My dad is hero".

Born in 1993, Xu, an auxiliary policeman, lost his life in a car accident in October 2018 while attempting to capture two prisoners that had escaped from a prison in Lingyuan, Liaoning province.

At that time, Li was three-month pregnant.

"My son has never seen his father. I hope the bear can build a connection between them," Li says, adding that she broke down in tears at the first sight of the writing on the bear's back.

For Li, compared with a wardrobe of her husband's clothes, the bear is much more vivid.

Currently living with her parents-in-law in Hebei province, Li has missed her husband every day since his death.

"The bear brings me comfort and remembrance," she says.

"When my son grows up, I will give the bear to him and tell his father's story."

Li is among hundreds of people who have discovered the healing needlework of Xiao Jie (pseudonym), a 39-year-old craftswoman in Chongqing. Xiao's story took off on Sina Weibo, with related news being viewed 140 million times by April 6.

A graduate of Sichuan Fine Arts Institute, Xiao works at a leather studio. She got the idea from a Sina Weibo post in November, which tells the story of a 21-year-old British woman, Mary Maclnnes, who made teddy bears from the clothing of departed beloved ones to help soothe the pain of loss.

"Everyone will encounter moments of grief for deceased family or friends. It is a good way to help them honor the memory of their departed loved ones," Xiao says.

Ruan Jiaxin in Quanzhou, Fujian province, was the first to leave a comment under the post about Maclnnes saying that he wanted such a bear made from his father's clothing. Ruan's father died of cancer in 2017. Xiao sent him a message and her bear-making career began with a "father bear" for Ruan.

Using his father's Jack Wolfskin's gray-blue sweater, the unique bear with the logo sewn at the belly makes "his father touchable again", according to Ruan.

"Although I keep telling myself that he lives on in my memory, when I hugged the bear after receiving it, I burst into tears," the 24-year-old says.

Ruan's gratitude encouraged Xiao to keep on helping people by preserving the memory of their loved ones.

"With my crafting skills, it feels good to be helpful," she smiles.

Xiao has been kept busy balancing her work and the teddy production, with around 10 bears under her belt since she started last year.

On average, it takes her at least six hours to design, plan, cut, sew and complete a bear. She only charges about 300 yuan ($42.3) for the basic costs.

"My mother and some friends suggested that I use a sewing machine to alleviate the heavy workload, but as a craftswoman, I insist on sewing every stitch by hand," Xiao says, adding that she believes that hand-sewing can inject soul and life to her work.

To make sure each bear is safe for children, she sews every line twice. Sometimes, she sews a pocket to hold a photo or object belonging to the person to whom the bear pays homage by using additional clothing.

Once, she sewed a red, heart-shaped pillow to a bear.

"The people who need a bear must deeply miss the person that passed away," she says, adding that she wants to make every bear unique.

Inspired by the clothing that her clients send, every bear is not just a toy, but represents a precious memory with deep love for the deceased.

Even when some clothing is not easy to sew, she has never asked clients for alternate material, because she "thinks the selected clothing must have a special memory or meaning to the owner".

Every time she sews, she will imagine what the owner of the clothing was like by considering their story, or their relationship with the client.

Although she seldom talks about these things with clients, in some cases, like Li's, Xiao cannot hold back her tears when people share their stories.

"She is a very brave and strong woman, whose husband is a real hero. … I am not good at comforting people, so I can only show my respect and blessing through my craft," Xiao says, adding that, although the characters stitched on the back are not so neatly sewn, she wants the bear to be distinctive.

As well as a growing number of enquiries, from hundreds of people, about the bears every day, Xiao also receives messages from craftsmen and craftswomen who are willing to offer a helping hand in passing kindness to everyone.

"I set up a QQ group with over 20 craftsmen and craftswomen who will help me create the bears in the future," Xiao says.

She is also editing a course to teach people how to sew their own bears, which will be posted online.

"It is not a business, but a lifetime career," Xiao says, adding that, during this extraordinary time, spreading the kindness to others really matters.

However, before making a bear as a condolence gift from a third party, she suggests that people should ask about the thoughts of the recipient, first.

"Everyone has their own way of remembering the departed. It may be too painful for some to recall their memories by looking at something related to their loved ones," Xiao says.