No matter how distant, stay in touch with loved ones

The end of life is something we don't relish contemplating. But given that the rules of life include change as a constant and the certainty of our mortality, it should come as no surprise when close friends and family slip away.

Still, it can come as a shock. It happened to me and many of my colleagues in Beijing when Mike Peters, a dear friend who had been the center of our social circle, became sick and quickly went downhill. It seemed so unfair, and he is still missed.

We all have had people with whom we were very close at important points in life, people we may have stayed in touch with only occasionally in recent years.

As the years pass, they remain etched in our consciousness as if they were guideposts, indelible and unchanging reminders of where we passed and who we were.

During my high school days in Calera, Alabama, in the United States, one of the school secretaries was a very kind woman who seemed to have a big role in running the school. Audrey Beiro knew everybody and seemed to have a handle on everything.

For the first few years I was there, I didn't know her too well. Then, her son Harrison became my best friend. We would run around the back roads of Shelby County in his late 1950s Ford and hang out at his house. His house was a home away from home for me.

I ended up moving away a year before graduation, and we drifted apart, but whenever I was in town, I would go by to see Mrs Beiro. She always warmly welcomed me. The years passed and I moved to the other side of the world, but Mrs Beiro, in my mind, always was there, a touchstone to my past, a reminder of the kind of class and kindness that made you want to be a better person.

She had three children, and when Harrison had children, she thoroughly enjoyed them. She traveled to Florida to the beach. She was blessed with a long life, and got to see her great-grandchildren, with enough health to enjoy them. In November, a few months after turning 93, she passed away after a short illness. It still doesn't seem quite real, and maybe it's easier to feel that way because I'm so far away, but I know I will never forget her.

Another person who I had been great friends with some 20 years ago, Edgar Torres, also died this fall unexpectedly. He was about my age, and was always joking around. I got to see his hometown in Puerto Rico, and spearfish with him. I had recently started exchanging messages with him again when his time ran out.

One of my favorite uncles, John Prichard, the last of five siblings that included my dad, died recently. He was a big bear of a man who had played football in high school. He was also very dedicated to his family and was a gentle giant. I would always give him a hug, though I think it embarrassed him a little.

All of this has given me great pause lately, with the realization that even if I live far away, I need to do better about staying in touch with those I love. None of us should let time get away and then find out one day that a friend or a loved one is gone.