By Pankaj Adhikari (China Daily)
Updated: 2008-03-04 07:26

Last week I went to Razor Hill, Sai Kung in the New Territories to visit a home for mentally challenged adults. Run by the social welfare department of the Hong Kong government, the home nestles on a hill amid sylvan surroundings and lush woodlands.

I went with an organization that visits the home usually every two months for charity work. The organization distributes food and drink and arranges games for the inmates. As our car drove into the courtyard of the home, an elderly inmate came running to us calling out "Uncle, uncle".

As the inmates were taking part in games, I could see the happiness on their faces. It was as if they had been freed from their solitary confinement.

The home has about 70 inmates, most of them above 40 years old. The youngest is a 28-year old man, the woman on duty at the home, said.

"At the home they don't have any problems regarding food or shelter. But they lead a very solitary life. Their joy knows no bounds when people or organizations come to visit them," the woman said.

I was surprised to hear that only 50 percent of the inmates' parents visit them on a regular basis. The home allows parents to visit their children twice a week.

The woman on duty also said there are a few parents who visit the home only once a year. These parents send their children to the home so that their neighbors do not come to know that they have mentally challenged children.

I was shocked to hear this.

As I was mingling with the inmates, I felt their solitude and pent-up anguish, their yearning for love, care and warmth - something which was sadly lacking in their lives. I was deeply moved by their feelings of rejection and isolation.

True, the home has been offering them food and shelter. But, what these people need is love and care from their families. What pained me was that they are not orphans. They have parents.

But sadly, they are deprived of parental love and care. The fear of social stigma is so deeply ingrained among some parents that they find it impossible to accept their mentally challenged offspring.

I am sure that these parents are not unfeeling, or that they are inhuman - but the fear of social ostracism holds them back from loving their offspring.

How can we get rid of this social stigma? How can we shake off this medieval mindset? How can we make these parents shed their feelings of guilt and shame and accept their offspring with the love and compassion they deserve?

Spreading awareness about the mentally challenged and removing social stigma is a daunting task. For this the government must come forward in a proactive manner. It should hold regular workshops and seminars.

Non-governmental organizations can also play a key role in dispelling the myths and misconceptions about the mentally challenged.

It is time we enlightened parents that mentally challenged people are not to be shunned and treated as untouchables. They need our constant love and attention. We must bring them the dignity of existence.

As I was leaving the home, I could see the inmates waving at us - their faces reflecting the pangs of solitude and loneliness. The words of the great English poet John Milton kept coming to my mind:

They also serve who only stand and wait.

E-mail: pankaj@chinadaily.com.hk

(China Daily 03/04/2008 page8)