By PANKAJ ADHIKARI (China Daily)
Updated: 2007-10-19 07:41

Last week it was reported that mental problems are affecting people at a much younger age. The report said young people in Guangzhou appear to be suffering mental problems as they struggle to adapt to life outside home and school.

A decade ago, most people with mental illness were between 18 and 30 years old. But now they are five years younger, the report said.

If one pays even slight attention to the news or daily paper, one would come across similar problems all over the world. It is a malaise of the modern times. It is a matter of serious concern that children are being afflicted by mental problems.

What has happened to this generation? Why are they becoming victims of anxiety and depression?

The report pointed out that children from single-child families are more prone to this kind of malaise. And they find it difficult to adjust to new situations once they complete school or leave home.

Well, this may be one of the reasons. The problem lies with us, the parents.

In this frenetic world, parents have only one single mantra for their children: you must win and win only. And they are imposing enormous pressure on their wards.

Have we ever thought what we have done or how we performed during our days of youth? Have we always achieved success in whatever we did? Have we always won laurels for our performance in school or college?

Sadly, parents tend to forget this and they seem to be guided by their sense of failure in their own lives. In fact, by subjecting the children to huge pressure, parents are becoming desperate to realize their unfulfilled dreams through their children.

They have high expectations from children. They always want their wards to take up top position in whatever they do - be it studies or in sports. The children have to win always and they cannot afford to lose. It is a matter of life and death. You must not lose.

Thus when a child fails to achieve success, he breaks down resulting in mental illness. Parents' outrageous reaction to children's failure damages their emotional well-being.

In life, accepting defeat is an important lesson. It helps one to grow up and face realities. It strengthens one's spirit, makes one stronger. And this has to be inculcated in children by their parents.

Unfortunately, today's parents are always rushing their kids, who just do not have time to enjoy childhood. Unable to put up with this rising demand on them, children sink into depression.

Is not extremely unjust on the part of parents to put such pressure on children? Is not it inhuman to force children to perform only? Is this what we should do as parents? Are we not responsible for their depression and early burnout?

The report said nearly 100 psychologists would soon be deployed in communities and schools to promote mental health among young people. Doubtless, it is an admirable effort.

But, it is the parents who need counseling. Parents have to understand that each and every child is unique. Academic excellence is not the only objective in life.

Parents matter a great deal in raising a child. Proper parenting is an awesome task. The amount of money spent by parents - or the number of pricey gifts they hand to their kids - hardly matters.

Eminent US economist Steven Levitt in his book, Freakonomics, said: "It isn't so much a matter of what you do as a parent, it's who you are."

The world today needs good parents who will produce honest, thoughtful and caring children.

E-mail:PANKAJ@CHINADAILY.COM.HK

(China Daily 10/19/2007 page9)