Covers of "The Joy of Text," "Secrets of a fix-up fanatic," and "I Love You, Let's Meet" [AFP]

The early years of online dating created a kind of euphoria among singles suddenly faced with new possibilities, but dating advice now stresses caution in the wake of the technological revolution.

"Dating has never been simple, but in an age of IMs, text messages, e-mails, and BlackBerry notes, it can be an absolute minefield," says Kristina Grish in "The Joy of Text," which aims to help women turn technology to their advantage.

Her book warns singles of the danger of losing touch with reality and of misunderstandings: "Techno-relating has conditioned otherwise calm women to become disproportionately clingy to how we act in person."

With the Web offering a unique way to meet people, several books are now available to help people dating in the Internet age.

Golden rule number one for finding your soul mate: write an honest profile, without skipping any details about your age, weight or marital status; avoid listing your best qualities but write them into your profile; add a recent photo -- no more than six months old -- and take care how you write.

"Whether we're talking miniskirts or semicolons, personal style screams a message to the world about your tastes and values," Grish says.

Don't overuse exclamation marks: "Most guys will assume they don't have the energy to keep up with your cheery attitude," she adds.

Learn how to spot someone who has more than a little help with their profile -- the cyber-Cyrano -- by inconsistent use of punctuation and vocabulary. Reply to emails within three days and text messages in not more than three minutes.

Weigh your words when you send a message -- you never know where they might end up.

Virginia Vitzthum, another New York journalist who like the fictional Carrie Bradshaw in the television series "Sex and the City" used to write a sex column, shows her skepticism of online dating.

In "I Love You, Let's Meet" she explores the experiences of 16 online dating veterans aged between 25 and 70, some of whom waited for months before meeting their dates in person, others who met up straight away.

"It's the first time I asked for what I wanted," they often say, according to Vitzthum. Some finally find what they're after. Their recipe for success: "luck, tenacity, good instincts, and nerve," she says.

But with 65 dates in six years, none of which has resulted in a relationship lasting more than two weeks, Vitzthum herself said she had better luck meeting partners in real life -- or IRL, as the online dating world would have it.

"My terrible track record is not unique," she says, describing a world of inaccurate profiles and inevitable lies, where the options are greater but the pressure is too. "I'm getting pickier, less generous," she says.

Dating sites were on a roll in 2003, but their growth has tailed off in the United States, where there are 90 million singles over 18 years old.

"I can't write off a technology that's brought so many people love and me my 65 chances with mostly good guys," explains Vitzthum.

She suggests a few keys to success: present yourself how you really are -- lies and trying to conform to a certain ideal put people off -- and chose a site that gives you choice while maintaining your grasp on reality.

Traditional dating books are also marking a return, for example Susan Shapiro's "Secrets of a fix-up fanatic," in which she explains why being set up is "the oldest, cheapest, fastest, safest and sweetest route to romance."

The key is to chose two people who you really trust and who can introduce you to prospective dates. An idea so retro, it's revolutionary, she says.